I stopped in Toledo for a late lunch. My nightmares had abated, and as I looked at the Ohio Road Map, I decided to take the 90 to the 77 and drive near the river and through Cleveland. I knew traffic would be bad but told myself that I should see what I fought for. For some reason I felt free, and started to believe my nightmares were connected to my aunt’s power. Once I returned home, I would be under her influence. It took a lot of energy to break the hold she had on me. I wondered if she had a type of telepathic power. I knew she couldn’t bend spoons or move bottles. I knew she couldn’t tell what was on two sides of a card without looking at both sides. Yet, ever since my first Christmas home from the war, I had felt under her control.
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Instead of healing me, it gave strength to my nightmares and made me unable to meet a woman. In that way my aunt secured me to her and ensured that I would carry out her plans. I sipped my tea and became lost in the jungle of my thoughts. Appearing beside me, the waitress stood at my table and asked, “How your food.” “Fine,” I said as I folded my map. “Where are you traveling to,” she asked? “I’m coming from Muskegon and going to Stow to visit an army buddy.” “My brother died in Nam in ’69,” she said. “I was in Nam in 70-71,” I replied. “I’m glad you made it home.” “Me too,” I replied, “Although, sometimes … I don’t feel like I belong here,” I said. “My sister’s husband says the same thing.” “Really,” I answered. “Really,” she replied, and smiled as she squinted behind her John Lennon style …show more content…
I was in combat, and people were trying to kill me. I was scared. The guy was crying so I chewed him out. Now, I regretted it. It made me sad. Instead of comradeship or God, I found nothing but fear and anger behind the bunker. As I took the I-90 fork, I wished I could forget everything about my time in Nam. I wanted to remember pleasant things like smelling musk oil that the waitress wore. However, my memories of Nam could not be cleansed by perfume or Nam’s rain and streams. I had to live with the remembrances that covered my mind like blood and mud. Everywhere I went I smelled death. Even the memory of my last day in Nam carried its own stench. That day I was in a safe area and free from the dangers of combat. Even then, the army made me burn human shit as I waited for my flight stateside. As I left Cleveland, I hoped to be in Akron by nightfall. I’d see Bao tomorrow. We would talk, and maybe, he would help me understand what I had been going through the last couple of years. I guess that was the true reason for visiting him. I wanted to know if my nightmares and confusion were a shared experience or if I was alone in my misery. Maybe it wasn’t my aunt’s telepathic power that kept me in Muskegon. Maybe, the fear of going on patrol had mutated to a fear of leaving my childhood home. I didn’t know, but I was hoping that Bao could free me from my
Instead of healing me, it gave strength to my nightmares and made me unable to meet a woman. In that way my aunt secured me to her and ensured that I would carry out her plans. I sipped my tea and became lost in the jungle of my thoughts. Appearing beside me, the waitress stood at my table and asked, “How your food.” “Fine,” I said as I folded my map. “Where are you traveling to,” she asked? “I’m coming from Muskegon and going to Stow to visit an army buddy.” “My brother died in Nam in ’69,” she said. “I was in Nam in 70-71,” I replied. “I’m glad you made it home.” “Me too,” I replied, “Although, sometimes … I don’t feel like I belong here,” I said. “My sister’s husband says the same thing.” “Really,” I answered. “Really,” she replied, and smiled as she squinted behind her John Lennon style …show more content…
I was in combat, and people were trying to kill me. I was scared. The guy was crying so I chewed him out. Now, I regretted it. It made me sad. Instead of comradeship or God, I found nothing but fear and anger behind the bunker. As I took the I-90 fork, I wished I could forget everything about my time in Nam. I wanted to remember pleasant things like smelling musk oil that the waitress wore. However, my memories of Nam could not be cleansed by perfume or Nam’s rain and streams. I had to live with the remembrances that covered my mind like blood and mud. Everywhere I went I smelled death. Even the memory of my last day in Nam carried its own stench. That day I was in a safe area and free from the dangers of combat. Even then, the army made me burn human shit as I waited for my flight stateside. As I left Cleveland, I hoped to be in Akron by nightfall. I’d see Bao tomorrow. We would talk, and maybe, he would help me understand what I had been going through the last couple of years. I guess that was the true reason for visiting him. I wanted to know if my nightmares and confusion were a shared experience or if I was alone in my misery. Maybe it wasn’t my aunt’s telepathic power that kept me in Muskegon. Maybe, the fear of going on patrol had mutated to a fear of leaving my childhood home. I didn’t know, but I was hoping that Bao could free me from my