Audience Benefits and the “You” View (Obj. 4)
Your Task. Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view.
16. We have prepared the enclosed form that may be used by victims to report identity theft to creditors.
If you are a victim of identity theft, a form has been enclosed to help you report it to creditors.
17. To help us process your order with our new database software, we need you to go to our website and fill out the customer information required.
By filing out your customer information on the website your order will be processed through the new database software now available.
18. We are now offering RapidAssist, a software program we have developed to provide immediate technical support through our …show more content…
5)
Your Task. Revise the following statements to make them more positive.
30. Employees are not allowed to use instant messaging until a company policy is established.
Once the company policy is established, all employees will be allowed to use instant messaging.
31. We must withhold authorizing payment of your consultant’s fees because our CPA claims that your work is incomplete.
Your payment will be authorized for your consultant’s fees one your work is complete.
32. Plans for the new health center cannot move forward without full community support.
Once we have full community support, the health center will move forward. 33. This is the last time I’m writing to try to get you to record my October 3 payment of $359.50 to my account! Anyone who can read can see from the attached documents that I’ve tried to explain this to you before.
Please record my Oct 3rd payment of $359.50 in your records. I have attached a document to help with this recording.
34. Although you apparently failed to read the operator’s manual, we are sending you a replacement blade for your food processor. Next time read page 18 carefully so that you will know how to attach this
Your Task. Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view.
16. We have prepared the enclosed form that may be used by victims to report identity theft to creditors.
If you are a victim of identity theft, a form has been enclosed to help you report it to creditors.
17. To help us process your order with our new database software, we need you to go to our website and fill out the customer information required.
By filing out your customer information on the website your order will be processed through the new database software now available.
18. We are now offering RapidAssist, a software program we have developed to provide immediate technical support through our …show more content…
5)
Your Task. Revise the following statements to make them more positive.
30. Employees are not allowed to use instant messaging until a company policy is established.
Once the company policy is established, all employees will be allowed to use instant messaging.
31. We must withhold authorizing payment of your consultant’s fees because our CPA claims that your work is incomplete.
Your payment will be authorized for your consultant’s fees one your work is complete.
32. Plans for the new health center cannot move forward without full community support.
Once we have full community support, the health center will move forward. 33. This is the last time I’m writing to try to get you to record my October 3 payment of $359.50 to my account! Anyone who can read can see from the attached documents that I’ve tried to explain this to you before.
Please record my Oct 3rd payment of $359.50 in your records. I have attached a document to help with this recording.
34. Although you apparently failed to read the operator’s manual, we are sending you a replacement blade for your food processor. Next time read page 18 carefully so that you will know how to attach this