“He’s going to be ok right... ANSWER ME PLEASE!” I heard my daughter yell at the nurse. In my head I was so confused as to what was going on. I thought to myself repeatedly, “am I going to die?”. I hear all these different voices and sounds, but I cannot see or react to any of them. “What’s going on?” I kept saying in my head, wishing that someone could just answer me. For the longest time I felt trapped inside of myself, until May 31st I finally broke free. My daughter Susie sat in the hospital with me everyday religiously. I could always hear her voice and feel her touch, I just wish I could have been able to tell her “I am here”. “Nurse! Nurse!” screamed Susie. All of the nurses rushed to my hospital bed. “I think he’s awaking!”
…show more content…
Mom! I think he’s awake” Susie said.
“Yes, bring the kids”
“I don’t know what is going to happen”
“I’m only hoping for the best”
“Ok bye” she hung up the phone and continued to talk to the nurses.
The next day I was fully awake but still unable to walk or move normally, but I was able to see my family as they gathered around me in the hospital room. “Earl” said my wife , “you're a real buffoon!” She paused and put her head down. “You dang near killed yourself and that little boy.” I stared at her in complete shock. Who was the little boy? Did I kill him? What happened? What did I do? I had no clue what happened.
“If only you could feel the disgust in my heart for you” she continued.
“Mom, you're being really inconsiderate right now!” Susie yelled at her.
“Inconsiderate! Inconsiderate! How dare you say such thing while there is a person who almost killed several people! But I'm incon-”
“Mom!” I stared at her in disbelief
“You know what Susie,” she took a long pause and stared out the hospital windows.
“Not here, not now. Not in front of the kids, not in front of dad.” Susie said in a firm tone and walked out the …show more content…
I know you're mad, we all are. But all this hate is not gonna make you, him, or the whole situation better!” she said in an weary strong tone.
“Susie Paulette Ryan, I am still your mother and you will not talk to me any type of way. As for you Earl, I want a divorce. I can't stand to be married to a criminal.”
At that time I knew those flashbacks were real. At that time I knew why I felt a strange feeling towards the doctor. I felt disgusted in myself.
I had a terrible childhood growing up, which made me filled with hate. I couldn't stand to see others do good or grow. My mother was married several times and her husbands were not so pleasant. I was brutally molested by one of them and witnessed my sister get raped by the others. Our mother always told us never to ruin her relationships, and continually blamed us for being the reason for her divorces.
I never realized how much harm I have caused other people all while trying to take myself out the world. The doctor was one of them. I remember her face in the car as I crashed into her family's car. She was a child when it happened, but her face of terror when the accident happened would never be forgotten.
“Call the doctor!” I yelled at
Mom! I think he’s awake” Susie said.
“Yes, bring the kids”
“I don’t know what is going to happen”
“I’m only hoping for the best”
“Ok bye” she hung up the phone and continued to talk to the nurses.
The next day I was fully awake but still unable to walk or move normally, but I was able to see my family as they gathered around me in the hospital room. “Earl” said my wife , “you're a real buffoon!” She paused and put her head down. “You dang near killed yourself and that little boy.” I stared at her in complete shock. Who was the little boy? Did I kill him? What happened? What did I do? I had no clue what happened.
“If only you could feel the disgust in my heart for you” she continued.
“Mom, you're being really inconsiderate right now!” Susie yelled at her.
“Inconsiderate! Inconsiderate! How dare you say such thing while there is a person who almost killed several people! But I'm incon-”
“Mom!” I stared at her in disbelief
“You know what Susie,” she took a long pause and stared out the hospital windows.
“Not here, not now. Not in front of the kids, not in front of dad.” Susie said in a firm tone and walked out the …show more content…
I know you're mad, we all are. But all this hate is not gonna make you, him, or the whole situation better!” she said in an weary strong tone.
“Susie Paulette Ryan, I am still your mother and you will not talk to me any type of way. As for you Earl, I want a divorce. I can't stand to be married to a criminal.”
At that time I knew those flashbacks were real. At that time I knew why I felt a strange feeling towards the doctor. I felt disgusted in myself.
I had a terrible childhood growing up, which made me filled with hate. I couldn't stand to see others do good or grow. My mother was married several times and her husbands were not so pleasant. I was brutally molested by one of them and witnessed my sister get raped by the others. Our mother always told us never to ruin her relationships, and continually blamed us for being the reason for her divorces.
I never realized how much harm I have caused other people all while trying to take myself out the world. The doctor was one of them. I remember her face in the car as I crashed into her family's car. She was a child when it happened, but her face of terror when the accident happened would never be forgotten.
“Call the doctor!” I yelled at