Not everything around me is as good as it seems. I use to see the world in black and white where everything has a right and wrong and nothing inbetween. Now, don 't get me wrong, I know bad things happen all the time and some people have it worse than I did. This my story and how I see the world as it is now. One of my favorite authors once wrote ¨Monster are real, ghost are real too, they live inside of us and sometimes they win¨ Stephen King.
My depression began when I was about 10 or 11 years old so I was probably in 5th grade I had these thoughts inside my head about death, they wouldn 't stop, the thoughts kept constantly telling me that “nobody would miss me if I were gone”, “ I’m not good enough for no one”, “nobody would care if I’d …show more content…
Then it was about two or three years later that I figured out why I felt that I didn 't feel safe because of my baby brother who was born that year and my mom was constantly with him and I was the only girl in the house and I feel that I couldn 't turn to her for help, I felt that I didn 't have a safety net to land on. In middle school I was at the third level of belonging and love needs; all my friends had boyfriends and I Was the one who was constantly the “third wheel” and I still wasn 't able to turn to my mother, I had the mindset that if I have someone by my side they would love, never hurt me and they would love me in return. Just having someone next is what I really wanted in life then but now I 've realized that it’s fine to be alone and not have a boyfriend/girlfriend to take care of you and you can do that on your own. I realized that I lost myself as a person when I was younger I didn 't know where I belong in the world and I wanted to grow up fast, I wanted to go out there in the world to see if anyone could love me besides my family members. Now that I 'm in high school I’m in level five where my self-esteem is getting better and I 'm gaining my self-confidence slowly but surely. I respect myself as a person and I’m loving who I am and who I 've become and to me that’s a lot to take in for someone my age. But I know that I have a long way to self-actualization and yes you can disagree that I’m not close to levels two and three but I can certainly say that I know more than you
My depression began when I was about 10 or 11 years old so I was probably in 5th grade I had these thoughts inside my head about death, they wouldn 't stop, the thoughts kept constantly telling me that “nobody would miss me if I were gone”, “ I’m not good enough for no one”, “nobody would care if I’d …show more content…
Then it was about two or three years later that I figured out why I felt that I didn 't feel safe because of my baby brother who was born that year and my mom was constantly with him and I was the only girl in the house and I feel that I couldn 't turn to her for help, I felt that I didn 't have a safety net to land on. In middle school I was at the third level of belonging and love needs; all my friends had boyfriends and I Was the one who was constantly the “third wheel” and I still wasn 't able to turn to my mother, I had the mindset that if I have someone by my side they would love, never hurt me and they would love me in return. Just having someone next is what I really wanted in life then but now I 've realized that it’s fine to be alone and not have a boyfriend/girlfriend to take care of you and you can do that on your own. I realized that I lost myself as a person when I was younger I didn 't know where I belong in the world and I wanted to grow up fast, I wanted to go out there in the world to see if anyone could love me besides my family members. Now that I 'm in high school I’m in level five where my self-esteem is getting better and I 'm gaining my self-confidence slowly but surely. I respect myself as a person and I’m loving who I am and who I 've become and to me that’s a lot to take in for someone my age. But I know that I have a long way to self-actualization and yes you can disagree that I’m not close to levels two and three but I can certainly say that I know more than you