The Importance Of Nostalgia

I like to think of my life as if I am walking a border, an imaginary one, where I am halfway between sanity and insanity, where nothing is ever certain and nothing is ever uncertain, and where life’ pieces fall in and out of place like a game of snakes and ladders. Nostalgia is a feeling that is all too familiar to me. I often find myself reminiscing about the past, thinking of the girl I once was, of the dreams I once had, of the life I once led. Although I have only lived a short time, sixteen years to be exact, I fear I have changed so drastically from the little girl I once knew and loved, the little girl whose world burned so bright. And as I was sitting in the waiting room at SickKids hospital, waiting for a team of psychiatrists to …show more content…
I knew what my issues were all along; the only difference was that now I had been given a label, multiple labels actually. Although the diagnosis came as a relief, it didn’t change how hopeless and empty I felt on the inside.
The next few months were hell. I felt as though I was sinking in a pool of water and I had forgotten how to swim. I don’t remember much about that spring, except for the pain, the unbearable pain I felt, the pain that consumed me, the pain that almost stole my life away from me. I remember thinking that I didn’t see an end to the pain. I remember thinking the whole world was against me. I remember thinking if this is what my life is going to be, is it really worth …show more content…
I’ve often wondered, can one day alter your life forever? I guess I was about to find out. It was the last week of school before exams, and the only thing getting me through was the fact that summer was not far from sight. I can remember walking out of class after third period and I had this horrible feeling in my stomach, like someone had placed an eighty-pound weight on my rib cage to keep me from breathing. I knew I had said something wrong, I knew I had done something wrong in class, hadn’t I? And that is when I felt it, my breath speeding up, my body starting to shake uncontrollably and my arms and legs going numb. That was the beginning of the worst anxiety attack of my entire life. Everything was dark. It was as if the light to my world had gone out, and I was trying to find my way through it in the pitch dark. I remember hearing voices all around me as I lay there on the ground outside of the school, I couldn’t quite make out what the voices were saying, but I could tell by the tone of the voices that they too were beginning to panic. I don’t recall what went on for the next hour, but I do remember when my mom came to take me home. I felt horrible because she had left work early to come pick me up from school and I feared that I was becoming a burden to my parents. But like always, she reassured me that she is my mother and that she will always be