I grew up in a single mother household in the Bronx from the age of 7. Growing up, I always saw my mother to be the hero, the one I can count on, my confidant. I remember my parents being together when I was a child. I moved to my grandmother’s house and when I came back to live with my parents it was only my mother. At the age of 7, I couldn’t understand why my father was never there. My dad was great to me but very abusive mentally and physically to my mother. I can remember back to the age of three, my father yelling and beating up my mother into unconsciousness and followed by that where men in uniforms and people that took in my mother on a bed with wheels. For some reason that memory is so vivid in my mind as if it happened yesterday.
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My mother tried her best to make me happy during that dark period in my life. All my friends had both their parents except me. I started to blame myself for their divorce. Growing up I did not realize how much of an impact my father’s behavior and his absence in my life was to me. As I became a teen during the phase when all the girls had their little boyfriends, I couldn’t trust any of them. I always pictured a guy beating me up like my father did to my mother. There was definitely a void of happiness in my life due to my father’s absence. My trust in men was at a zero and it become very apparent as I reached into my late teens early adulthood, especially since I had my heart broken by my 3 year high school sweetheart in high school, the one guy I thought I could trust. He would always repeat to me, “I am not your father so stop treating me like I am.” Till this day I still suffer from relationship problems but today I have a wonderful boyfriend who understands my struggles and is able to deal with my trust issues and general matters concerning my father. My father was certainly not the best person in the world and although he has had a lot of negative influences in my life, the positive I can say about him is he is the exact example of the kind of man I would not want to marry. And my mother always tries to encourage me to pray to God for him to present to me the right man.
My mother tried her best to make me happy during that dark period in my life. All my friends had both their parents except me. I started to blame myself for their divorce. Growing up I did not realize how much of an impact my father’s behavior and his absence in my life was to me. As I became a teen during the phase when all the girls had their little boyfriends, I couldn’t trust any of them. I always pictured a guy beating me up like my father did to my mother. There was definitely a void of happiness in my life due to my father’s absence. My trust in men was at a zero and it become very apparent as I reached into my late teens early adulthood, especially since I had my heart broken by my 3 year high school sweetheart in high school, the one guy I thought I could trust. He would always repeat to me, “I am not your father so stop treating me like I am.” Till this day I still suffer from relationship problems but today I have a wonderful boyfriend who understands my struggles and is able to deal with my trust issues and general matters concerning my father. My father was certainly not the best person in the world and although he has had a lot of negative influences in my life, the positive I can say about him is he is the exact example of the kind of man I would not want to marry. And my mother always tries to encourage me to pray to God for him to present to me the right man.