Feeling as if I didn’t belong, like there were a thousand eyes staring me down, feeling almost inferior to everyone around me. As I look over I count, “one, two, three.” forty five pound plates; compared to my measly ten pounds it’s definitely laughable. I felt like everyone in my proximity was chuckling under their breath. Watching as my face began to light up bright red with immense, embarrassment as my frail arms began to shake under the force of the barbell. I would have laughed too. Entering a new environment like this made me overwhelmed and lost; without my veteran workout partner by my side, I would have been eaten alive. Eaten by the fear of failure. Eaten by the anxiety living inside me.
At this time in my life I cared. Not about anything, but everything. I wanted to be impressive, not just to me, but to my peers around me. I was beginning to be consumed from the inside out, fearing how my actions would mold my appearance to others around me. I woke up each morning wanting to impress someone else, not realizing I kept missing the single most important individual.
Walking into the gym it became rapidly apparent that everything was so new here …show more content…
I had given up on it years ago and just dealt with the stress and anxiety it would cause. But now a new path opened up to me, one that was hidden away in the brush. A path where you don’t worry about what anyone else thinks or has to say about you. One where you worry about your own life goals and attempt to achieve them no matter what. The following day I walked back into the gym not caring about what anyone else would think of me. The only reason I was there was so I could focus on trying to improve myself and only that. The gym seemed so empty this time, in my head I was alone, but in reality I was still in the same densely packed gym I started my journey