How long has it been since I felt the wind on my face? The momentary feelings of flight and the legs dangling without solid ground beneath them? How long has it been? Middle school is different now. There were no more playgrounds to roam, no more slides to climb up onto, and especially no more swings. The black swings with rusted chains to keep it from flying away. Where were they now? The chilly February month was gradually turning warm with the crimson red cheeks on the face of my friends. Valentine’s Day was coming and all that anyone could talk about was boys. Boys, boys, boys. “I bet Ivan is still into you. He was giving you googly eyes yesterday during science,” Magda exclaimed excitedly as she took a seat at our lunch table. All
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She was always running off to do strange errands so instead, I poured the anger on my friends. By the end of the lunch period, nobody cracked jokes. The table was silent and all that could be heard was chewing. Days drizzled by and I soon came to realize that I was slowly being ostracized. My friends resumed their usual conversations, but my presence was never acknowledged. I slowly drifted off to other tables, no longer fitting in. Whenever lunch ended, I would always be the first out the door, rushing to get to the swings. There, I would begin to pump my legs, bringing myself higher into the air with every motion. I was in competition with myself, to see how high I could go before recess ended. I convinced myself that that was all I needed.
Occasionally, Katrina and the others would pass by. I then would pretend that I was fine, that there was no care in the world. I made it seem as if they never existed. I hid myself behind a carefree mask, but at home, I didn’t have to worry about showing weakness. At home, I would cry to myself, constantly reminding myself about my loneliness. By the end of the year, I became extremely introverted, where my only company was swings. There was no need for friends since swings were a one person
She was always running off to do strange errands so instead, I poured the anger on my friends. By the end of the lunch period, nobody cracked jokes. The table was silent and all that could be heard was chewing. Days drizzled by and I soon came to realize that I was slowly being ostracized. My friends resumed their usual conversations, but my presence was never acknowledged. I slowly drifted off to other tables, no longer fitting in. Whenever lunch ended, I would always be the first out the door, rushing to get to the swings. There, I would begin to pump my legs, bringing myself higher into the air with every motion. I was in competition with myself, to see how high I could go before recess ended. I convinced myself that that was all I needed.
Occasionally, Katrina and the others would pass by. I then would pretend that I was fine, that there was no care in the world. I made it seem as if they never existed. I hid myself behind a carefree mask, but at home, I didn’t have to worry about showing weakness. At home, I would cry to myself, constantly reminding myself about my loneliness. By the end of the year, I became extremely introverted, where my only company was swings. There was no need for friends since swings were a one person