The monster under my bed did not even compare to this fear. Being alone, being emotionless. It feels as if my soul truly was a void, sometimes it sucks me into an immense, bottomless, black hole. I did not fear the darkness; I welcomed it in on day one. But I do fear the loneliness, and for some reason I feel it is always near; peeking around the corner, waiting to strike.
The moment of my life I decided to freeze is the day my best friend left me. I have always had “friends”. But most of them do not really care for me or understand me. They do not accept me for who I am. Just to obtain the friends I have I had to throw the real me out the window. Since junior high I had been masquerading behind a mask. I was a jester for the fat and rude …show more content…
This is the moment I choose to freeze. My life seemed like it was over. From there on I entered a state. I hid myself away in a cold, thick shell. My metaphorical heart crawled into a ball and hid in the darkest corner of my mind. I felt like a thin, paper ghost walking amoung happy, brilliant souls. Everything was grey and numb. My life had been stripped of the one thing that made me happy. I figured there was no point anymore. No one understood what I was feeling. I went on in this miserable state for a more than a month. My soul was silent and a frigid frost enveloped my emotions, freezing them solid. Nothing could break me out of that shell. Hopefully I will get to see that friend …show more content…
But finally the winter ended and everything thawed and came back to life. Birds chirped, flowers blossomed, and warm sun rays brought a new light to my mind. That vast road reopened, and the devil clutching onto my back scampered away.
I realized that loneliness it's just an emotion, and although emotions are strong it could not defeat me. The emptiness that bellowed inside of me could be filled with many things. I doubt that I will ever have such an amazing friend again but I do believe that I can be my own savior I could save myself from the frost, I could save myself from the depression, I could save myself from loneliness all together. That is what brought me out of the shell, is believing in myself, and I learned that from the one who saved me in the beginning . Depression is a mere blemish on the surface of a strong independent
The moment of my life I decided to freeze is the day my best friend left me. I have always had “friends”. But most of them do not really care for me or understand me. They do not accept me for who I am. Just to obtain the friends I have I had to throw the real me out the window. Since junior high I had been masquerading behind a mask. I was a jester for the fat and rude …show more content…
This is the moment I choose to freeze. My life seemed like it was over. From there on I entered a state. I hid myself away in a cold, thick shell. My metaphorical heart crawled into a ball and hid in the darkest corner of my mind. I felt like a thin, paper ghost walking amoung happy, brilliant souls. Everything was grey and numb. My life had been stripped of the one thing that made me happy. I figured there was no point anymore. No one understood what I was feeling. I went on in this miserable state for a more than a month. My soul was silent and a frigid frost enveloped my emotions, freezing them solid. Nothing could break me out of that shell. Hopefully I will get to see that friend …show more content…
But finally the winter ended and everything thawed and came back to life. Birds chirped, flowers blossomed, and warm sun rays brought a new light to my mind. That vast road reopened, and the devil clutching onto my back scampered away.
I realized that loneliness it's just an emotion, and although emotions are strong it could not defeat me. The emptiness that bellowed inside of me could be filled with many things. I doubt that I will ever have such an amazing friend again but I do believe that I can be my own savior I could save myself from the frost, I could save myself from the depression, I could save myself from loneliness all together. That is what brought me out of the shell, is believing in myself, and I learned that from the one who saved me in the beginning . Depression is a mere blemish on the surface of a strong independent