Reflective Essay: How Clinical Depression Changed My Life

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Depression is defined as a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at the age of thirteen and it had taken over my life. When the light from the sun peeked through my blinds in my mind I knew it was time to get out of bed, but I couldn’t. Getting out of the bed was only a section of this terrible illness that seemed to devour everything in its path. Although you could hear my stomach growling from a mile away, I never felt hungry, so eating was always a chore. Not only was I not eating, but I started to brush off my friends every time they wanted to see me. I even ruined a relationship with the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I had nobody to distract me from this devilish …show more content…
I would spend thirty minutes to an hour just laying in bed crying, trying to push myself just to get on my feet and make it to the bathroom. I struggled every single day to raise my hands enough to have basic hygiene. It was like a battle, every morning that I would open my eyes, to pick out clothes that matched and make it to my car to start my day. Some days my hair went untouched and my teeth went unbrushed just because I truly did not have the energy to win the battle of taking care of myself that …show more content…
I tried to make him happy in every way I could think of, hoping that his happiness would rub off on me and start to give me joy again, instead it made me feel worse. He lost the feeling that I was this amazing girlfriend who would stand up for herself with anything and had her own life to live, instead he thought of me as a clingy little girl who could no longer do anything without him and didn’t have a back bone in her body. He began to no longer be attracted to me due to the amount of weight that I lost and how unhealthy I looked. He told me I wasn’t what he wanted in his life anymore, after spending years with him. I may not have been completely happy with this man, but he was what made me feel stable in life, and like nothing in this world could ever truly harm me. I had honestly lost the glue that held me

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