Reflective Essay: How Clinical Depression Changed My Life

Improved Essays
Depression is defined as a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at the age of thirteen and it had taken over my life. When the light from the sun peeked through my blinds in my mind I knew it was time to get out of bed, but I couldn’t. Getting out of the bed was only a section of this terrible illness that seemed to devour everything in its path. Although you could hear my stomach growling from a mile away, I never felt hungry, so eating was always a chore. Not only was I not eating, but I started to brush off my friends every time they wanted to see me. I even ruined a relationship with the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I had nobody to distract me from this devilish …show more content…
I would spend thirty minutes to an hour just laying in bed crying, trying to push myself just to get on my feet and make it to the bathroom. I struggled every single day to raise my hands enough to have basic hygiene. It was like a battle, every morning that I would open my eyes, to pick out clothes that matched and make it to my car to start my day. Some days my hair went untouched and my teeth went unbrushed just because I truly did not have the energy to win the battle of taking care of myself that …show more content…
I tried to make him happy in every way I could think of, hoping that his happiness would rub off on me and start to give me joy again, instead it made me feel worse. He lost the feeling that I was this amazing girlfriend who would stand up for herself with anything and had her own life to live, instead he thought of me as a clingy little girl who could no longer do anything without him and didn’t have a back bone in her body. He began to no longer be attracted to me due to the amount of weight that I lost and how unhealthy I looked. He told me I wasn’t what he wanted in his life anymore, after spending years with him. I may not have been completely happy with this man, but he was what made me feel stable in life, and like nothing in this world could ever truly harm me. I had honestly lost the glue that held me

Related Documents

  • Superior Essays

    I always felt full. Even when my parents tried to force food down my throat, I felt sick. This was very unusual for me considering I usually eat a lot of food. The lack of food made me really weak and I never felt like moving. I attempted to go to school that Monday but I went home after first hour because I felt so depressed and weak.…

    • 1599 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Superior Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Essay On Sonnet 104 Fever

    • 793 Words
    • 4 Pages

    The doctors said that the only way to get the water out was to make myself cough and walk around. But the problem with that was I was so weak from the lack of sleep and food, plus I was in so much pain! Every time I got up to walk i would shake and cry. My mom would have to hold me up on one side and I would have to hold myself up on the IV machine on the other side, as I walked up and down the hospital halls. On the third day about 4pm I found out what was wrong with me.…

    • 793 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    I told myself that I couldn 't do this anymore and that I was not ready to be a mom at seventeen years old. I honestly don 't think no one understands how difficult it is to be a teen mom. You 're constantly tired because you have to wake up every three hours or so to change and feed your baby. I never really had the problem of not getting sleep and being tired because my daughter slept through the whole night until about five in the morning and she wanted to eat. I was constantly being so stressed out since I was raising my daughter and going to school at the same time.…

    • 1033 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Improved Essays

    It seems like yesterday when my thoughts had completely consumed my every move, and my sadness ultimately annihilated my will to live. Every day felt like the last; I had woken up reluctantly with a feeling of complete emptiness. I was, essentially, a “walking zombie”numbed of all emotion. Over the previous months of my senior year is when the bullying had started, and it seemed like it had really never ended. Even when I was at home and my peers had stopped, the comments ran through my head and tormented me every single night.…

    • 955 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Superior Essays

    Many years ago, roughly around the age of 12 I was diagnosed with ADD. I was having failing grades, no friends, even my teacher told my mother and I that I was the worst student she had ever had and that I would never amount to anything. In addition to this I had constant migraines. I think out of 181 days I missed 178 of them because I was at home lying of the floor, in tears, in the blacked out bath room, trying not to vomit everywhere. These incidents are just the start of many issues in my life.…

    • 1066 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Superior Essays
  • Superior Essays

    The Influence Of My Life

    • 1506 Words
    • 6 Pages

    She had been unable to do her job overseas for a while, her peers were finding her on the bathrooms floor crying, up all night not sleeping, depressed and unable to eat. She was no longer in the right mind to do her job, because she has already known herself that my dad was cheating and it was eating her from the inside out. That night changed my life forever. From there on out my home life was a disaster. Almost every night I was finding my mom on the floor hysterically crying with empty bottles of wine on the floor, and broken pictures of her and my dad.…

    • 1506 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Superior Essays
  • Decent Essays

    I hate the smell of walking into a doctor’s office, I always get freaked out or nervous, and my blood pressure would go up when I arrived there. Then my doctors started to think that I had something up with my heart, and that was no fun. It was just white coat syndrome. But going to doctors appointments are not fun because I always got yelled. The reason is because I never liked to test the full 4 to 5 times a day, I would only do 2 to 3 times a day because I was so active and busy through out the day with sports I would just forget I was even diabetic.…

    • 755 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Superior Essays

    It is 5:57 am on a Wednesday morning and I am dreading the sound of my alarm going off. A sick sensation of guilt over and hate overwhelm me, and the only thought coming to my head is "wow, I really wish time would freeze." It feels like the longest three minutes of life and, I am in heaven and close my eyes hoping that I never have to get up. But, soon enough, I hear the screeching sound of some stupid Fall Out Boy song and know that I must face the day. I swing out of my bed some 17 minutes after my initial alarm and stare in the mirror, but the reflection does not present itself as human.…

    • 1084 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Superior Essays
  • Improved Essays

    Sometimes at night I cry to myself saying I wish I have never done that. Letting disgusting men touch a 14 year old minor. I tried stopping myself but the devil was still in me and I could not take life anymore. I would stay up until 5 am in the morning because I had depression and insomnia. I would never tell my parents anything because they would pressure me and even punish me severely of what I could not control.…

    • 1462 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Improved Essays
  • Great Essays

    Throughout my life, I struggled with losing weight, which led to a constant series of depression and anxiety. I would go days of wasting my hours sitting and moping around in my bed, wishing to lose weight by simply starving myself but not doing anything productive. Needless to say, the introduction of Pokémon Go was not something I fathomed and approved of at first. I became conflicted on whether or not I should give in and attempt to at least try the game out, especially since I played almost all the Pokémon installments leading up to this point. As I gradually but cautiously dove into the game headfirst, I soon found myself to be what some would say “addicted.” Rather than sitting at home and doing nothing, I began to go on late night adventures to catch Pokémon all the while being productive to my body.…

    • 1649 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Great Essays