Let me start at the beginning. As I alluded to earlier, I’ve come to understand part of the reason we stayed together for so long was due to my intense need for validation, to love myself through investing in and loving external sources. For the majority of my life, I was told to find identity and peace through God. I’m certain I told you how much I struggled with this. You came along at the exact time period I started doubting religion, and so you filled the void religion had left. Recently, I mused about this with my friend Ember (we went to see her in RENT); how when we first left the church it felt like we were 20-year-olds with the experience of 14-year-olds. I had such a naive and innocent outlook on life with no real “worldly” experience. Your life intersected with mine at such a critical point, I’m not surprised how attached I became to you. You became my Virgil, my guide;
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This is why I said I felt free – not because I was glad to be rid of you, but rather I was glad that the months of anguish could finally be over. Unfortunately, this catalyzed a year (or more) of suffering for you. Where once we shared love, instead I just passed the baton of emotional turmoil to you. We were like mirrors, our individual pain reflected over that day in August.
Now that over a year and a half has passed, I feel at peace with the way things have gone. Of course, if I could go back, there are small things I would alter, but I would never change sharing so much of my life and love with you. In our time together, I learned how to love someone with all that I have and all that I am. Joining Peace Corps catalyzed a season of growth for both of us, and for this I am grateful. This last journey has guided me towards loving myself.
The last things I want to share with you are some song lyrics (which I’m positive you already know) as they represent my final reflections on
This is why I said I felt free – not because I was glad to be rid of you, but rather I was glad that the months of anguish could finally be over. Unfortunately, this catalyzed a year (or more) of suffering for you. Where once we shared love, instead I just passed the baton of emotional turmoil to you. We were like mirrors, our individual pain reflected over that day in August.
Now that over a year and a half has passed, I feel at peace with the way things have gone. Of course, if I could go back, there are small things I would alter, but I would never change sharing so much of my life and love with you. In our time together, I learned how to love someone with all that I have and all that I am. Joining Peace Corps catalyzed a season of growth for both of us, and for this I am grateful. This last journey has guided me towards loving myself.
The last things I want to share with you are some song lyrics (which I’m positive you already know) as they represent my final reflections on