The first visceral reaction I had during this semester came with the discussion over sex-ed in schools. I have never been so disgusted by education in my life. What made it worse was the reaction in our classroom when you brought out birth control props or when we went over anatomy. I just kept thinking “these …show more content…
Yikes!! I had heard of it, but to see it was eye opening. It’s frightening to think that both men and women are so insecure that they would risk hurting themselves, and that their self identity is so penis/vagina-centric. I could not help but remember the many insecurities I had growing up, and still fight as an adult. I cannot even imagine having to grow up in this generation, where sex and beauty seem to be used to push people into therapy and/or bankruptcy. It makes me fear for children, whom are all so beautiful but might never feel that they meet the impossible standards set by our society. As a result, I have begun fluffing my kids self-esteem. I feel like one’s self esteem should be gratuitous, to an extent, so that some can be shed without detriment to their …show more content…
I realized that not only I am one of those girls who didn 't report the abuse, I am also one who tried to report only to be shut down. I am also guilty of token resistance. After I was raped, I became promiscuous and used a lot of power plays to never feel violated again, but unfortunately that doesn’t always work. I did take some power back, but I didn’t make good use of it. I just added my name to the list of people who hurt me before and those who would do it after. I put my self institutions that I thought I could control, and as soon as I knew I couldn’t I prepped myself into becoming “willing” so that I could try to maintain some dignity. Alas, no dignity came. Instead, a shame spiral that led to self medicating and a much desired numbness. I put a lot of effort into stuffing it all down and getting my life back together, but I have not dealt with this abuse. I think its time to heal and I hope that I have the courage to do so, if not for myself, than to be an example for my