Suicidal Thoughts In My Life

I was admitted into the psyche unit my second week of Freshman year and it changed my life for the better. I was in a very bad place in my life and felt hopeless and suicidal. Thanks to some doctors, counselors, medication, and loving parents, recovery was possible. My life has been different ever since. I was in gym class with a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. My mind had been going through a rough time. I could taste salt and iron in the back of my throat from running. Suddenly I stopped, and warm, salty tears started raining from my eyes. Sometimes everything would just come falling down and nothing was okay. “Can I please go to the nurse, Coach?” I asked my gym teacher, while holding back sobs. “Sure,” sighed the teacher reluctantly and filled me …show more content…
I took a deep breath and explained to her, “I’m having some deeply suicidal thoughts. I also have been struggling with some pretty intense homicidal thoughts,” I swallow. Admitting that was hard. I didn’t want to seem crazy, like my mother who had mental health issues her whole life. “And I have a problem with self harming,” I went on. Miss O’hare talked to me for a long time, and eventually she called my parents. After my step mom showed up, I told her what I had just told Miss O’hare. She cried, and I felt guilty. She’d been so good to me, and it still wasn’t enough. Rage pumped through my veins without rhyme or reason. I had extreme mood swings and for some reason I was feeling particularly angry. It felt like I had swallowed the sun. Miss O’hare told my mom to take me to the emergency room, and that’s what we did. At the hospital I was seen by doctors and eventually transported and admitted to Robert Young’s psyche unit. The paper gown they made me wear brushed against my skin, cool and foreign feeling. The unit smelled too steril, as hospitals often do. I had never stayed at a hospital before, and I was