My Stereotypes

I was once a little girl who loved sports, was full of life, who took any chance to make someone smile, learn something new, and my only goal was to live life to its fullest potential. Anyone that knows me now may see me as a kind, intelligent, and helpful person, maybe that’s who I strive to be, but it’s not really me. Many occasions involve me, shielding emotions and lying about my real intentions are my specialty. Because of how long I have trained myself to act different it is slowly becoming me, but there is still one side that hides inside and tries to rule my decisions, then it comes out when all my problems pile up. Although this side only comes through when I am by myself and the rare time when it’s my mom, it is something that is …show more content…
I don’t know who I am or who I will ever be, or maybe I’ll just venture into a big black abyss of nothing. When my knowledge doesn’t live up to my ideal of perfection for the second time in one day I get infuriated and I drop into a deeper slumber of ignorance. Being in my mom’s class has a whole different atmosphere around it, in a way it’s a lot more stressful because everyone thinks I need to be perfect for her class. Trying to live up to the standards other people set for me is extremely hard, I can’t even live up to my own. The bomb keeps ticking down to explosion time and the fuse is getting short. We had a vocabulary test that day and I was really confident that it wasn't going to be that hard, and to my surprise it was one of the hardest tests I have taken in a long time. In my head I knew that it was not going to be good when we graded this test and I was right. Failing two tests in one day, and that's rare, doesn't set well with me, but I act like it doesn’t phase me at all. Some kids go “Oh Maren I thought you were as smart as your mom,” or “ wow I’m surprised I thought you would know all the answers” well obviously I don’t. I try to set out this persona of intelligence and the feeling that I never struggle, but there is a time when someone struggles and this day was the starting point of …show more content…
Today is the day that we go downtown to the dance studio where I competitively dance. The girls that don’t dance there regularly complain about what we’re doing right in front of the teacher. I am very self-conscious and I start blabbing random statements when I’m tired, nervous, or bored. It constantly feels like someone is secretly judging me or criticizing the way I dance or act and no one ever really feels the need to talk to me. As the class dragged along this unbearable anger started to swell inside me, but I have to hold it in I cannot let anyone see me cry. That’s not me. Having forced myself to believe that I’m not good enough and my reasons to be mad are not valid, it infuriates me even more. My bomb is at the blowing point, but it has to hold until I get home. When class had finally ended and my teacher dropped me off at my house because no one else was willing to take me home. I walk into my house and down the stairs to my