Growing up, my sister, Candice and I were involved in gymnastics, swimming, track and field, music lesson, but all of that changed when we moved to San Juan. Things appeared tensed because my father’s absence left my mother feeling abandon to raise us and my cousins. In the four year we lived in San Juan, I participated in track and field and Candice played soccer, but we participated in no sports when we moved to Illinois. For my youngest three siblings, they played almost every sport imagined when we moved to Illinois and had less expectations and assumed no responsibilities for anything or anyone even when it was asked of them. For me, it was difficult knowing that they got to play sports while Candice and I had to became overnight adults
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Also, I had a lot of rejection and ridicule when I came to United States from classmates, so my lack of communication was not to say anything to anyone; I isolated myself. Also, I tethered on being a people-pleaser like my mother in hopes that people would include me into things. I felt uncomfortable around people because I felt as if they were analyzing everything I was saying and may use it against me like my father and aunt did to my mother, my siblings, and me. I rejected guys before they rejected me, because I rationalized that if the guy knew who I was that he would hate me anyway, so I would save him the trouble. Also, I internalized my problems so that I do not explode on others and get called my father. My father would always tell me that I was like my mother and my mother would tell me that I was like my father and I hated that they could not see me and I questioned who I was as a person. I was afraid that no one would love me for being me, if I even knew who she was. What if I became my father or what if I was weak like my …show more content…
I gave only a little of my family of origin, but when I think of everything I have endured and how I feel today, I wonder if I am in the right program, but then I hear my basic mistakes, irrational thinking, and faulty thoughts and realize that maybe I am in the right field; only time will tell. In my future work with families, I can see my family having an amazing impact. In my family I have seen the plasticity of humans, the strength in tough times, and hardship it takes for change to happen. My father’s cheating allowed me to see that people make mistakes, but that perspective was from my mother’s point-of-view. The only thing right now I can see that might interfere with my work with family is seeing a family member who hurt the family not see the impact they have caused. I would want to shake them and say the things I have told my father who still have not seen the problems he has caused. Hopefully, I will be able to become objective and help families gain perspective and insight in order to grow in a healthy
Also, I had a lot of rejection and ridicule when I came to United States from classmates, so my lack of communication was not to say anything to anyone; I isolated myself. Also, I tethered on being a people-pleaser like my mother in hopes that people would include me into things. I felt uncomfortable around people because I felt as if they were analyzing everything I was saying and may use it against me like my father and aunt did to my mother, my siblings, and me. I rejected guys before they rejected me, because I rationalized that if the guy knew who I was that he would hate me anyway, so I would save him the trouble. Also, I internalized my problems so that I do not explode on others and get called my father. My father would always tell me that I was like my mother and my mother would tell me that I was like my father and I hated that they could not see me and I questioned who I was as a person. I was afraid that no one would love me for being me, if I even knew who she was. What if I became my father or what if I was weak like my …show more content…
I gave only a little of my family of origin, but when I think of everything I have endured and how I feel today, I wonder if I am in the right program, but then I hear my basic mistakes, irrational thinking, and faulty thoughts and realize that maybe I am in the right field; only time will tell. In my future work with families, I can see my family having an amazing impact. In my family I have seen the plasticity of humans, the strength in tough times, and hardship it takes for change to happen. My father’s cheating allowed me to see that people make mistakes, but that perspective was from my mother’s point-of-view. The only thing right now I can see that might interfere with my work with family is seeing a family member who hurt the family not see the impact they have caused. I would want to shake them and say the things I have told my father who still have not seen the problems he has caused. Hopefully, I will be able to become objective and help families gain perspective and insight in order to grow in a healthy