My Panic Attacks

1051 Words 5 Pages
I walk back to my dorm from class with a huge smile on my face. Suddenly, my heart starts pounding, and my hands get sweaty and fidgety. Inside, I’m gasping for air while my mind is racing a million miles. I hide it until I shut my door where I break down into a full attack. After eight years, it becomes habit, hiding my attack until I’m away from public eye. I feel like my panic attacks caused by my anxiety holds me back from reaching my full potential. If it continues to occur, I worry that it will cause me trouble in my future career and lifestyle. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder around the age of nine or ten. My panic attacks would occur over many different events, such as over homework I didn’t …show more content…
I shut down every time I don’t understand an assignment. I’ve lost motivation to do any work because I feel as if I’m not smart enough to be here. My nature of hiding my attacks until I’m alone has become difficult living with a roommate who’s constantly in the room. So when I’m alone my pent up attacks are far worse. I know every college student experiences homesickness but that’s not how I feel. I don’t really miss my home as much as I worry about the people there. I’m constantly checking the weather and news there to keep up with any possible things that could hurt my friends or family. My anxiety still holds me back here. I don’t feel comfortable going out with my friends, because I worry about what could possibly happen even if it 's a low percent of occurring. I also have the stress of feeling like I have to be a perfect role-model for my little cousin. Me being the first person in our family to go to college, she looks up to me to finish college. It’s stressful with me worrying about my grades and being a moral person in her eyes. My dream job is to be a psychiatrist and to help teens and children who have suffered with similar things I have dealt with. I believe I will not be able to fully help them if I can’t even overcome it. Every day I try to not let my anxiety hold me down, but some days it’s harder than others. I feel that if I stop over-worrying about my future and what goes on around me, my life would be so much easier. I want to start living my life with the quote “never let your fear decide your

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