My Own Mental Illness And The Mental Illnesses Of My Friends Essay

2488 Words Oct 26th, 2016 10 Pages
I spent much of my time when I was in high school struggling with managing both my own mental illness and the mental illnesses of my friends. I didn 't have many friends in real life that I felt close to the same way I did with my online friends, who I 'd known for years. My girlfriend, who I had also met online and was my first serious relationship, was the most emotionally demanding of my friends as she dealt with emerging mental illnesses of her own. Wanting to be a good partner, and with our contact being mostly online-based at this point, I set my instant messaging programs to have a loud beeping noise whenever I was contacted, so that if I was asleep I would be awoken to help. Though I loved helping my friends and my girlfriend, waiting for a panicked instant message in the middle of the night and dreading to see if my friends needed to be talked out of suicide at any moment caused me great stress. I don 't remember events or conversations clearly anymore, but I do remember the feelings involved. There was a lot of panic and dread, and anxiously waiting to get out of school to check the computer and make sure my loved ones were okay. I felt sick with nerves most of the time and found it even harder to concentrate on things than I normally did. A few times I was cut off from the internet as a punishment, and I felt depressed and distressed and just wanted to sleep until it was over and I had internet again. I slept a lot in school, to the point school officials…

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