My Most Embarrassing Case Scenario By Ellen Degeneres

1367 Words 4 Pages
Register to read the introduction… Do you shake their hand? Do you hug them? Do you kiss them? Or, trickiest yet, do you do the complicated hug-kiss combo? So, you’re at the party and the host is approaching you quickly. It’s hard to believe you’ve been at the party long enough to chitchat, have a few drinks, and eat the first piece of his grandmother’s birthday cake (looking back, you probably should have waited for them to light it, but you assumed that they, like you, were forbidden by court order from playing with matches) without saying hi to the host. Now, there he is marching toward you and you have no idea how to greet him. What do you …show more content…
You’re driving at the legally acceptable twenty miles above the speed limit, when some jerk cuts in front of you going mere fifteen miles above the limit. Infuriated, you drive past, and give him the finger. Then you open your eyes (I have no idea why you were driving with your eyes closed) and notice that the driver of the car is none other than John Travolta. What do you do?
SOLUTION:
This is an easy one. All you have to do is move your arm to you side, raise it up at a forty five degree angle, and pump. During the second pump, casually switch your protruding finger from the middle one to the index finger. Suddenly you’re no longer flipping John Travolta off, you’re doing a touching homage to one of his most beloved movie, Saturday Night Fever. This, according to the unwritten laws of showbiz, officially makes you John Travolta’s friend. So you’re perfectly within your rights to follow him wherever he’s going, get out of your car when he does, and engage him in conversation. Tell him your dreams, your fears, and all the embarrassing things that happened to you at the party. And don’t be surprised if after you’ve told him all this, he looks as you blankly, then says “That sounds a lot like Gloria

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