Ali,
I really like the title of your paper. Your title grabbed my attention from the start! Your introduction paragraph put me right there in the story with you. I can relate to your love of basketball because of my same passion for wrestling. Both sports challenge you mentally and physically. Not only do you have to train hard but also learn all you can from sports. Your paper seemed to flow well chronologically. I think you payed particular detail to description and made your thesis a point thorough out the paper. Your conclusion paragraph clearly states why this experience is meaningful to you and ultimately changed my view. I like the way you compared success in school to your drive for success in basketball. You seemed to be a person
I really like the title of your paper. Your title grabbed my attention from the start! Your introduction paragraph put me right there in the story with you. I can relate to your love of basketball because of my same passion for wrestling. Both sports challenge you mentally and physically. Not only do you have to train hard but also learn all you can from sports. Your paper seemed to flow well chronologically. I think you payed particular detail to description and made your thesis a point thorough out the paper. Your conclusion paragraph clearly states why this experience is meaningful to you and ultimately changed my view. I like the way you compared success in school to your drive for success in basketball. You seemed to be a person