That Was Then Now Reflection

I have a unique opportunity to review my life through volumes of diaries that I began maintaining at age ten. I often return to it to review my life and examine how I now feel about how I felt then. This has prompted a more organized reflective tool entitled That was Then Then is Now: My Conversation with My Diary. This work is more than my reflection. It is a cathartic tool that allows me to reveal the heart of a developing young woman to other young women, to mothers, daughters, sisters, and best friends, and pastors, and husbands, fathers, brothers and boyfriends. I have never been strung out. I was not a teen mother, as a matter of fact, I have never had a child. I grew up in the same house with both my mother and father and an older sister who each hold masters’ degrees…but like the many young women who grow up in similar situations, life and living it brings about challenges that are relative to each person’s context. Contexts are interchangeable. I found this to be true through many conversations that I have had with my students over the years who found comfort in knowing that they too—from every walk of life—are not alone. For those who journal, the intimacy of conversation with your inner spirit is a refuge—almost self-medicating. My journey …show more content…
Though I realize that this discourse is to be centered on my spiritual journey, my sister’s diagnosis has become an almost Groundhog Day experience for me. My sister and her family (husband and two sons) live with me. I am inherently yet again a caregiver. A caregiver to a family of four who are invariably unable financially to stand on their own two feet, even before the multiple sclerosis diagnosis. Many have essentially encouraged me to not allow them to take advantage of me, but I recognize that I have a concrete fix on why they are with