There are things that I knew I just had to live through. When I was on room restriction I was able to count down to the end of it and now that I am no longer restricted to my room that is just a thing of the past that had no lasting effect on me. But some things hit deeper than that. There are things you can’t move past because they are inside of you forever. As easy as it is to repress the events of a memory, this doesn’t stop them from affecting me. When I’m not otherwise occupied I begin to see the affect things have on me. Time will pass but suppressing things instead of coming to terms with them has only moved them to a place deeper inside of me ensuring that as resilient as I am, they are still around handicapping …show more content…
But I think that sometimes by looking to the future and choosing to ignore the past I allow it to hold me back in a completely different way. Like chains that only I can sense. I think the way I have dealt with this board has been completely different than how I’ve chosen to deal with adversity in the past. Though it was not by choice I was surrounded by people who knew as much about the board as I did; I didn’t have to pretend like everything was okay or that I was happier than I was. I did spend days just not doing anything because I didn’t feel like. Somehow, I can tell that a couple years down the road it will just be a distant memory, not something that consumes all of my thoughts. I wish I would have dealt with other things in the past in a similar manner because I’m now able to see that resiliency isn’t just about moving on as fast as you can. It’s about coming to terms with everything, and moving on when you are