As I reflect on my life, I can see numerous situations in which I personally struggled with being female. I never seemed to feel like I was good at being a girl. I also remember feeling sad and/or angry about those feelings. I can now see many reasons behind all of those feelings that I had. My struggle with my gender identity has been apparent in every aspect of my life. It effected the type of person I was/am, the decisions I made, and it impacted every single relationship I have ever had. The key factors that I think contributed to my thoughts and feelings about my gender were Gender role expectations, family as my first agent of socialization, and school as an agent of socialization.
Learning the expectation of my role
From a very young …show more content…
She would try to teach me how to cook, or crochet, or do crafts, but I was never really interested in any of those things. I remember feeling angry that I wasn’t allowed to do anything that the boys could do. Eventually, (although, I’m still not sure how) I drove my Mom crazy enough, that she stated to let me try to keep up with the boys, Although, at this point, they wanted nothing to do with me. I remember being angry about that too. I felt like I had to be able to do the things that they could do, better than they could do them in order it fit in. I think this is when I developed a drive to never give up, and to always try harder to be better. Even then, it was never about be better in their eyes, but in doing so, I didn’t feel bad about myself all the time. I had to be better so they would accept me, and so I didn’t always feel like I didn’t fit …show more content…
The girls didn’t like to do things like play football. Instead, they wanted to play house and pretend to cook dinner for their babies. I didn’t want to play with them, so I’d try to play sporty games with the boys, but they didn’t want to play with me, because I was a girl. The only way that I was ever noticed, was when I would interfere with their games. I’d jump in and catch their football mid throw. Sometimes they would get mad, but every once in a while someone would say something like “Nice catch! Do you want to play?” Those were the times that I was
Learning the expectation of my role
From a very young …show more content…
She would try to teach me how to cook, or crochet, or do crafts, but I was never really interested in any of those things. I remember feeling angry that I wasn’t allowed to do anything that the boys could do. Eventually, (although, I’m still not sure how) I drove my Mom crazy enough, that she stated to let me try to keep up with the boys, Although, at this point, they wanted nothing to do with me. I remember being angry about that too. I felt like I had to be able to do the things that they could do, better than they could do them in order it fit in. I think this is when I developed a drive to never give up, and to always try harder to be better. Even then, it was never about be better in their eyes, but in doing so, I didn’t feel bad about myself all the time. I had to be better so they would accept me, and so I didn’t always feel like I didn’t fit …show more content…
The girls didn’t like to do things like play football. Instead, they wanted to play house and pretend to cook dinner for their babies. I didn’t want to play with them, so I’d try to play sporty games with the boys, but they didn’t want to play with me, because I was a girl. The only way that I was ever noticed, was when I would interfere with their games. I’d jump in and catch their football mid throw. Sometimes they would get mad, but every once in a while someone would say something like “Nice catch! Do you want to play?” Those were the times that I was