My Fault, It’s All My Fault Like every other teenager, I spend most of my days questioning life. What is it? Why must it send us on the insane rollercoaster it built that hasn’t been safety checked yet? Around the age of 10, I came to the conclusion that we must be in The Matrix. I always had a lobe in my brain dedicated to “What Ifs”, believing I was the one the world revolved around. This mentality gave me the idea that I had the power to bend fate, that I controlled everything and everyone around me. This was my first experience with the idea of “character is fate”, and from there I had been manipulating my behaviour to get exactly what I wanted when I wanted it.
However, at the age of 12 my manipulation got out of hand because I had met …show more content…
Once he shattered my outer frame, I had no filter, projecting nothing but the truth. The truth seemed to be the most logical out of the options I had; sugar-coating doesn’t do anyone any good, except for maybe saving relationships with people. I was too wise for my own good. I was never one to truly love.
My outburst was due to flashbacks from the past. As always, in a situation concerning someone other than myself, I managed to unintentionally flip it so everything was revolving around me. My turbulent character drove him away.
It was at this moment when I realized that fate was never to blame for my past either. With him, I was too emotional, too manipulative, and overly complex. I was desperate to gain back his love, engineering myself to fit his exact needs, but it didn’t work. I wasn’t strong enough for his new character. Nor was I strong enough for Samm’s character. The two people who actually brought me a sense of happiness were gone, all because of my complex structure.
This revelation broke me. I was a machine; cold, heartless, nothing but a hunk of metal. No, fate had nothing to do with my misery; it was my atrocious character. My character brought this heinous fate; it’s my
However, at the age of 12 my manipulation got out of hand because I had met …show more content…
Once he shattered my outer frame, I had no filter, projecting nothing but the truth. The truth seemed to be the most logical out of the options I had; sugar-coating doesn’t do anyone any good, except for maybe saving relationships with people. I was too wise for my own good. I was never one to truly love.
My outburst was due to flashbacks from the past. As always, in a situation concerning someone other than myself, I managed to unintentionally flip it so everything was revolving around me. My turbulent character drove him away.
It was at this moment when I realized that fate was never to blame for my past either. With him, I was too emotional, too manipulative, and overly complex. I was desperate to gain back his love, engineering myself to fit his exact needs, but it didn’t work. I wasn’t strong enough for his new character. Nor was I strong enough for Samm’s character. The two people who actually brought me a sense of happiness were gone, all because of my complex structure.
This revelation broke me. I was a machine; cold, heartless, nothing but a hunk of metal. No, fate had nothing to do with my misery; it was my atrocious character. My character brought this heinous fate; it’s my