My Experience In English

Speaking has never been, and will never be, one of my strengths. I struggle to engage in short conversations with my own teachers, never mind strangers. Notes on selfconfidence and sharing my thoughts have appeared in all of my reports since primary school. However, an oral examination is required for National 5 Spanish. I preferred to deny this, of course, and managed to avoid thinking about it for the majority of the year; this technique would not work forever though as my exam was sooner than I expected.
My teacher’s voice dragged me from the blanket of classroom chatter. I sat down in the solitary chair at the front of the room. My weak attempt at composure fell immediately, my eyes glued to the floor. Miss Stovell began to read through …show more content…
Dismissing my problems as hopeless is always easier than trying to work on them. This was one of my greatest fears, and having to do it not just once more, but four times more was incredibly distressing. Despite my stubborn attitude, the mornings did show improvement. My answers evolved from one word to a sentence. This was huge to me and gave me the hope I needed to continue. As I improved, my anxieties dwindled. They were still there, but less of the huge barrier that they seemed to be before. My skills in Spanish weren’t awful; I was capable of success. I wrote out paragraphs and paragraphs of possible answers. I made flashcards, and notes, and tested my vocabulary. I felt more secure than ever before. I had managed to work past my habit of last minute revision. But on the final morning, I still struggled to vocalise my thoughts. My body froze and I reverted to my basic answers. I failed to show the skills that I had in the language. My eloquent, revised answers shrunk into short responses, littered with simple errors. It seemed as though my exhaustive efforts had resulted in nothing. My frustration at no immediate results diminished my confidence once …show more content…
I analysed every detail of my notes, my hands trembling, until the final second. My uneasiness grew when I learned that our conversation would be recorded. My presentation would be first. Luckily, I was not required to maintain eye contact and my eyes rested on a painting instead. I went through my speech, occasionally stumbling on words. I could remember each sentence well and I felt secure in my performance. The presentation was by no means a class presentation. I lacked all the key skills of public speaking. There was no variation in tone, no eye contact, nor hand gestures. But I had displayed the appropriate skills for this task; there was a variety of tenses, the correct use of adjectives, and justifications of opinions.
It was not over yet, though. The upcoming challenge was far more worrying. Eye contact was now required, in order to imitate a real conversation. This prospect terrified me, but the onslaught of questions had already begun. The chat seemed to end far quicker than I had imagined. Hearing that it had ended was accompanied by immediate relief. There was nothing I could do except