My Ecstasy In My Writing

As I stare at the blank page, like a canvas waiting to be smothered with paint, my mind is in a state of shock for I do not know what to write. This happens frequently and I’m not sure whether I should turn off the computer and go back home. Still, in vain I keep on trying to write like James Baldwin or Tennessee Williams, but of late realise that my gifts, talents are elsewhere and I should pursue them instead of fooling myself.
Ok, I agree, none of this makes any sense; but doesn’t bother me in the least as nothing in my life makes any sense. My life is going nowhere and it griefs me every day that I’m slowly falling into my grave, rotting away to the point where I cannot look at myself in the mirror. The truth is, I have to admit that