How My Development Would Be Different If I Were Born Female

How my Development Would Be Different if I Were Born a Female This is a difficult question, because an extremely large portion of my self-concept and identity revolves around my male gender. There is much talk and debate about the effects of race on one’s self identity and worldview, but I identify far more with being a man than I do with being White (this could be a result of White privilege). Much of this identity was passed down through my family structure. Best (2009) stated that, “Social role theory suggests that people know the stereotypes about men and women, and they know they will be rewarded for behaving in ways that are consistent with those stereotypes,” (p. 347). Growing up, gender roles were very defined. My father, who was a …show more content…
I participated in sports, and often sports that involved extreme physical prowess such as football and competitive powerlifting. Broderick and Blewitt (2015) stated, “there is a link between boys’ androgen levels and their aggressiveness. But androgens appear to more directly affect attempts to achieve social power (dominance seeking) which leads to aggression only in some people and some situations,” (p. 297). The biological influences occurring in my male body very closely resembled the above quote. Much of my behaviors, goals, and aspirations were built upon dominance seeking and being “alpha”. This led to behavior which I regret as an adult, and also extremely dangerous risk-taking behaviors. This behavior was also modeled by my father; when you walk into his house, there is no arguing the fact that he is top dog. If I had been born a female, and with a lack of androgen being produced in such a critical time, I may have been interested in dominance seeking behaviors, or been so highly aggressive. Now I know some females who can be very aggressive! However, I may not have faced as many of the consequences that I did, as a result of the differences in these specific hormones and when and how they were released in me as a developing …show more content…
In thinking of social factors on my development outside of my family life, I would reflect on my closest friends during middle school and high school. Every single one of us had a nickname for each other, which was completely offensive and struck to the core of our most noticeable defects. For example, I happened to have some belly fat, so I was “Pudge”. One of my friends had really bad teeth, so we called him “Father McPlaquey.” The list goes on. What this dynamic taught me, and I would venture to assume, all of us, is the power of stoicism, “acting tough,” and holding back emotion. Even though the things we may have said or did to each other hurt inside, there was not a chance any of us would ever express that pain. A lack of emotional expressiveness is something I still struggle with at times, especially with people for who I care deeply. I truly believe that defect was born out of this type of learned behavior and gender role expectations. Broderick and Blewitt (2015) stated “adults need to avoid shaming boys for expressions of vulnerability and to provide them with the time and safety they need to open up. We should not take boys’ stoicism as a given,” (p. 319). If I had been a girl growing up, I may have been encouraged to express my emotions more openly and provide a voice to them. This may have allowed less internalization of painful situations, and a forum to speak about how they made me