The novel has a strong hook with the idea of the protagonist having psychic skills and more. The script combines drama and comedy, within a supernatural-thriller. For the most part, these elements work well to blend together.
The main storyline about finding a missing treasure is a smart story choice. Everyone loves the idea of finding buried treasure. This gives the novel a strong, actionable goal with merit, and it keeps the story goal-focused.
The subplot of the budding teen romance supports the main storyline and …show more content…
While one might not always understand what he’s saying, he’s a character that stands out as being highly original. He’s another character that can easily attract talent.
Daryl, Maria, and Erma all feel authentic, as do Earl, Malcom, and Conrad. They each have their own agenda. Conrad is well described and the idea of him being an assassin in appealing and a smart story choice.
Daryl and Maria are motivated by money. Maria is a true con artist. Erma’s goal or motivation is not as well defined.
It should be noted that there are a lot of characters to track. The character that feels the least needed is Arthur. Although, he’s unique, he doesn’t add much to the plot and his backstory isn’t entirely clear regarding that he’s supposed to be dead, but isn’t. He’s protective over Ryan, but he still doesn’t feel essential to the overall plot. Perhaps in the series, his role is more lucid.
Also, the mention of Senator John Burns feels non-essential. The idea of Uncle Mike is questionable, because it’s never clear if Mike was really CIA and if he really placed Ryan in the witness protection …show more content…
Ryan’s ordinary world is well established, as well as his backstory. His backstory is highly riveting.
However, it should be noted that the opening is a bit confusing and convoluted to follow. It’s not an opening that immediately grabs one’s attention regarding the story about the detective cases and how they all led to Ryan. It’s challenging. One rather just see a young Ryan, a series of events that occur to him and then transition the story to the current day storyline.
In fact, until the real goal becomes clear about the treasure, the structure feels a bit jarring and fragmented. The information is too subtle and the viewer is constantly struggling to get a good grasp of the concept.
An alternative, as mentioned, would be to structure the novel by opening with the past backstory of Ryan as a young kid – but showing it and the murder of his parents and clearly verbalizing that he has to go into hiding and why. This would be a more compelling opening or first few chapters.
Eventually, there’s a solid inciting event when he’s forced to help look for the treasure. At this point, the goal is well declared and the story become better defined and remains focused on this