' Moveover, A Supernatural, Sci-Fi Horror Tale

1307 Words 5 Pages
THE FATE OF DESTINY is a supernatural, sci-fi horror tale. The main hook about a group of teens finding a mysterious box and then discovering that they have special powers because of the box has merit. The story is driven by themes about fate and destiny. The audience is easily pulled into the mystery of the box.

Unfortunately, while the idea is good, the story doesn’t fully deliver the promise of the premise. The script would benefit from further development.

The main concern about the presentation is the structure. The structure utilizes too many flashbacks, too many dreams, and transitions in time, even to five years later. It’s a very confusing timeline to follow. Thus, it would really benefit the script to restructure the entire
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This is because their goal and their dilemma hasn’t actually been defined or clarified. If the goal is to find out what’s in the box or who the box belongs to, then the kids have to be proactive in solving this mystery. There also has to be a stronger force trying to stop them from finding out more about the box. Maybe the teens take the box and then discover that with the box they have special powers. Maybe they like having special powers and refuse to give up the box. The antagonist then comes after each of the teens looking for the box and maybe kills each of them, one by one, until one is left. There are many directions the plot could …show more content…
The idea of special powers gets lost in all the flashbacks and visions. The most one sees is that they can read each other’s mind or talk to each other using telepathy. If understood correctly, they also appear to be able to create fire or lightning, but even this feels vague.

One character, Michael, talks about saving a woman, but it’s never shown. Instead of talking about it, show him saving her. Show how having special powers affects the lives of the teens. For example, maybe they abuse their new powers and use the powers for selfish reasons and this gets them into trouble. In other words, the idea of them having special powers really has no solid payoff in the second act. It appears only to be used in the third act when they battle the antagonists.

The ending is not well understood with the story transitioning five years later with Kelly and

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