Middle school is the time where you start to go through changes, both physically and mentally. Your body feels foreign and alien, and nothing really makes sense. So when I started having these familiar feelings, I chalked it up to puberty and attempted to move on. Everyone goes through it after all. Sadly, it wasn’t exactly that easy. My body didn’t feel like it was mine; it just felt wrong. There wasn’t really any other way to describe it. But it was middle school, so I thought about how these feelings were normal for everyone, and that they would eventually go away. But they didn’t, and only added more pressure to the sky high pile of stress that was accumulating due to other things in my life at the time.
Have you ever wondered what it …show more content…
Her name was Ms. Szjmada. She said, “Some of the students have come to me and told me that they didn’t feel comfortable with you using the girls’ bathroom.” It was like being hit with a wave of ice water, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Most of the girls, and boys for that matter, at my school didn’t even know my name. Also, I hadn’t come out to the whole school, so I was stunned by this revelation. So, I was forced to use the teacher’s bathroom at the other end of the school. In the end I only used it during free periods and lunch so I wouldn’t miss class time. It hurt, a lot. I recounted this experience to my friends, but none of them really understood what I felt; it was like I was trapped in one of those giant hamster balls. Sometimes I felt like it was the teachers who were uncomfortable by it, but who knows? There wasn’t really an evidence for this claim, but I was livid and frustrated at what was laid out in front of me. My blood would boil whenever I would see Ms. Szjmada’s face and I could feel the bile burn in the back of my throat. Then I would get overwhelmed with a surge of panic; the crushing rage terrified me. All these emotions strangled and beat me, wearing me down day by …show more content…
I had decided to wear a dress to prom, and there was a pre-gathering at another friend’s house. I don’t remember how we got onto the topic, but she said to me at one point, “My dad saw you in your dress before prom and was confused and didn’t understand it since he thought you were transgender. I told him of course he didn’t and we got into a really bad fight.” I remember my stomach twisting as the guilt crept its way in, and unshed tears settled in the corners of my eyes. Deep down, I knew that it wasn’t really my fault. Her parents have always been a little unpleasant about this sort of stuff. They’re not homophobic per say, but they’re not very accepting of her bisexuality. Yet, that moment pushed me a little bit deeper into the black hole.
For the most part however, I’ve been extremely lucky. I went to see a therapist that specialized in this area, and my parents were really calm and collected even when I wasn’t. I wasn’t alone; my ex-girlfriend is also gender fluid and understands my feelings, and was always there to support me. I also had the love and support from my friends. So many LGBTQ-lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning- people have had it a lot rougher than
Have you ever wondered what it …show more content…
Her name was Ms. Szjmada. She said, “Some of the students have come to me and told me that they didn’t feel comfortable with you using the girls’ bathroom.” It was like being hit with a wave of ice water, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Most of the girls, and boys for that matter, at my school didn’t even know my name. Also, I hadn’t come out to the whole school, so I was stunned by this revelation. So, I was forced to use the teacher’s bathroom at the other end of the school. In the end I only used it during free periods and lunch so I wouldn’t miss class time. It hurt, a lot. I recounted this experience to my friends, but none of them really understood what I felt; it was like I was trapped in one of those giant hamster balls. Sometimes I felt like it was the teachers who were uncomfortable by it, but who knows? There wasn’t really an evidence for this claim, but I was livid and frustrated at what was laid out in front of me. My blood would boil whenever I would see Ms. Szjmada’s face and I could feel the bile burn in the back of my throat. Then I would get overwhelmed with a surge of panic; the crushing rage terrified me. All these emotions strangled and beat me, wearing me down day by …show more content…
I had decided to wear a dress to prom, and there was a pre-gathering at another friend’s house. I don’t remember how we got onto the topic, but she said to me at one point, “My dad saw you in your dress before prom and was confused and didn’t understand it since he thought you were transgender. I told him of course he didn’t and we got into a really bad fight.” I remember my stomach twisting as the guilt crept its way in, and unshed tears settled in the corners of my eyes. Deep down, I knew that it wasn’t really my fault. Her parents have always been a little unpleasant about this sort of stuff. They’re not homophobic per say, but they’re not very accepting of her bisexuality. Yet, that moment pushed me a little bit deeper into the black hole.
For the most part however, I’ve been extremely lucky. I went to see a therapist that specialized in this area, and my parents were really calm and collected even when I wasn’t. I wasn’t alone; my ex-girlfriend is also gender fluid and understands my feelings, and was always there to support me. I also had the love and support from my friends. So many LGBTQ-lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning- people have had it a lot rougher than