Variations on this question are so common. I often hear from wives who desperately want to understand just what in the world their husband was thinking while he was cheating on them. I often hear comments like "I want to know if he was thinking about me at all when he was with her. Because if he was thinking about me, how could he go through with cheating? I'm not sure if it's worse if he was thinking about me or if I wasn't on his mind at all."
It's very difficult for wives who have been cheated on to understand the mind set of a husband who cheated. In fact, most of us just aren't able to wrap our brains around this because we often just can't imagine the thought process of someone who would or is cheating on their spouse. It's difficult …show more content…
This most certainly doesn't excuse their actions. I'm not trying to make excuses for them. And, many would say that their remorse are too little too late or that their devastation is well deserved. Both of these views are completely valid and …show more content…
In some cases, I do believe that cheating is a reaction to a personal crisis in a person's life. You often see cheating after the loss of a job or parent or during some time in a person's life when they are questioning themselves or their place in the world in some way. And as such, I think that some men, as a form of self preservation, cut themselves off from their feelings. This is another form of compartmentalization. Again, this isn't an excuse. It's just a theory that I have based on research and dialogue that I've had with men in this situation.
Some Men Actually Use Their Situation As Justification Of The Cheating: This subset of men are probably in the minority, but I do sometimes hear from men who will make all sorts of excuses and justifications for their cheating. Some will tell you that their wives weren't attentive enough. Or they'll say that they never intended to hurt anyone. Or they'll claim that their cheating has nothing to do with their feelings for their wife. Luckily, at least in terms of the men that I hear from, this subset of men seems to be in the minority, which is good because I don't always have much patience in this
It's very difficult for wives who have been cheated on to understand the mind set of a husband who cheated. In fact, most of us just aren't able to wrap our brains around this because we often just can't imagine the thought process of someone who would or is cheating on their spouse. It's difficult …show more content…
This most certainly doesn't excuse their actions. I'm not trying to make excuses for them. And, many would say that their remorse are too little too late or that their devastation is well deserved. Both of these views are completely valid and …show more content…
In some cases, I do believe that cheating is a reaction to a personal crisis in a person's life. You often see cheating after the loss of a job or parent or during some time in a person's life when they are questioning themselves or their place in the world in some way. And as such, I think that some men, as a form of self preservation, cut themselves off from their feelings. This is another form of compartmentalization. Again, this isn't an excuse. It's just a theory that I have based on research and dialogue that I've had with men in this situation.
Some Men Actually Use Their Situation As Justification Of The Cheating: This subset of men are probably in the minority, but I do sometimes hear from men who will make all sorts of excuses and justifications for their cheating. Some will tell you that their wives weren't attentive enough. Or they'll say that they never intended to hurt anyone. Or they'll claim that their cheating has nothing to do with their feelings for their wife. Luckily, at least in terms of the men that I hear from, this subset of men seems to be in the minority, which is good because I don't always have much patience in this