They introduce their topic with the sentence, “Since the beginning of time, people have debated whether it is morally wrong to download music, movies, and other media without paying for it” (Morrow & Weston 442). By having this as the first sentence, the authors immediately create an untrustworthy impression on the audience, for media downloading has not been a controversy since the beginning of time. The argument will have a stronger foundation to build upon by omitting the first part of that sentence. Also, the authors set up their claim that media downloading is wrong with contradictory word choices and phrases. They state that media companies were guilty of, “…often imposing ridiculously high fines for minor offenses, such as downloading a few files” (Morrow & Weston 442). The words used to describe the fines and the offenses contradict the overall argument the authors is trying to make. The argument is attempting to show that media downloading is a serious issue and that media companies have a legitimate reason to fight against such an act. Thus, the authors should not lead into this topic with subtle antagonism towards the media companies. To improve this, adjectives that coincide with the overarching conclusion should be used instead. Phrasing is also crucial when leading into a thesis statement. The authors create an inconclusive thesis by stating, “Although, it did make the companies look bad, the companies were justified…” (Morrow & Weston 442). The beginning of that sentence should be omitted, because it contradicts what the rest of the claim is saying. When an action is justified, then it should not be presumed to be bad. Instead of making a declarative statement that the companies looked bad, the authors should focus the audience’s attention on the claim that they were justified in their
They introduce their topic with the sentence, “Since the beginning of time, people have debated whether it is morally wrong to download music, movies, and other media without paying for it” (Morrow & Weston 442). By having this as the first sentence, the authors immediately create an untrustworthy impression on the audience, for media downloading has not been a controversy since the beginning of time. The argument will have a stronger foundation to build upon by omitting the first part of that sentence. Also, the authors set up their claim that media downloading is wrong with contradictory word choices and phrases. They state that media companies were guilty of, “…often imposing ridiculously high fines for minor offenses, such as downloading a few files” (Morrow & Weston 442). The words used to describe the fines and the offenses contradict the overall argument the authors is trying to make. The argument is attempting to show that media downloading is a serious issue and that media companies have a legitimate reason to fight against such an act. Thus, the authors should not lead into this topic with subtle antagonism towards the media companies. To improve this, adjectives that coincide with the overarching conclusion should be used instead. Phrasing is also crucial when leading into a thesis statement. The authors create an inconclusive thesis by stating, “Although, it did make the companies look bad, the companies were justified…” (Morrow & Weston 442). The beginning of that sentence should be omitted, because it contradicts what the rest of the claim is saying. When an action is justified, then it should not be presumed to be bad. Instead of making a declarative statement that the companies looked bad, the authors should focus the audience’s attention on the claim that they were justified in their