Mary Allison: About Me

Improved Essays
Mary Allison “About Me”
I am perpetually worried about everything, no matter how inane. I am boring. I am overly excited about 98% of furry creatures. I am a really bad guitarist, but I’m trying to get better. I’m also a really bad singer. I am pathetically obsessive over miscellaneous things (mainly tv shows/movies) for short bursts of times until I can’t stand them anymore. I am horrible at making plans. I am incredibly incompetent. I manage to mess just about everything up. I am probably going to go deaf by the time I’m 30, because I’m irresponsible and listen to my music at an incredibly high volume. I am easily entertained and will laugh at most anything. I am a “slow” driver. I am very bad at finishing the things I start. I am incredibly
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I believe in the power of a few kind words to make you feel good for a moment. I also believe a few cruel ones will haunt you the rest of your life. I believe that you should respect everyone you meet until they prove themselves worthy of your silent, passive-aggressive hatred. I believe that there is no better medicine than listening to your favorite album. Well, that or maybe morphine. Morphine is probably pretty good medicine too. I also believe that dogs have special healing powers and they are the purest lifeforms in the universe. I believe that we’re going to eventually run out of space to bury people, which worries me even though it shouldn’t. I’ll probably be dead by then. I believe that hairspray and a lighter makes an effective weapon when you’re home alone and cowering because you heard a noise. I occasionally believe that I’m going to suffer a horrible fate because I read a story with the ending, “And now that you know, you’re a part of this too.” Let’s be real. I always believe that I’m going to suffer a horrible …show more content…
I HATE OLIVES. They’re like what would happen if a 7 year old grape and a mushroom hybrid was created. I also have a slightly less wrathful hatred of pickle relish, as previously stated. It’s a tolerable hatred, but I find its existence bothersome and unnecessary, nonetheless. I do not care for (loathe and despise) people who abuse other people or animals. The most pitiful thing is when you try to hug someone and they flinch because they’re expecting to be hit. It is sickening that someone can find it within themselves to not just harm, but sometimes torture an innocent creature. I also do not care for racism, homophobia, sexism, or any other kind of bigotry. I do not care for when people try to force their views on others. I do not care for the cold. I do not care for washing dishes, especially when a gross piece of food touches your

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