The Importance Of Absence Of My Father In My Life

Identify and discuss the major emotional components of this loss
This paper focuses on the absence of my father in my life. Until about a couple of months ago while taking a spirituality class for my bachelor’s degree, I never thought about the impact my father absence had in my life. There was a part of me that always wondered what the feeling would be like to have him in my life. Part of my journey while taking that spirituality class was journaling, while journaling I came to the realization that many of the things I did in my life was to fill the void that I was feeling because of my father’s absence.
My father’s love will something that I have always wanted and still wants it’s like he never existed. Just a figment of my imagination. From the little my mother told me and having a a passport picture of a man I was told was my father, I would sit and daydream of him. In my mind he was a hero, this tall beautiful like skin man, with an athletic built. I blamed my mother for him not being there. It was her fault that I was fatherless. The part of everything I couldn’t phantom the thought that she got married to my twin sister’s father, or when she was with my brother’s father, …show more content…
At the particular time I did not know the reasoning behind my promiscuous behavior, I didn’t know that I was trying to fill the void. I didn’t know that I had symptoms of “absent father”. The tragic part of this is that I repeated this behavior for some time looking for my father’s love in one love relationship after another until disappointment and unresolved grief finally hit me. Dead smack in the face, I was behaving in an unconscious state of mind. I had to step into reality and although I have not let go of all the hurt and pain I had to forget, I have not fully gave but I had to definitely forget in order to live my life without being in constant