Personal Narrative: My Relationship

Our relationship started out strong, between my prince and me. The notion that we expect and learn from the attachments with caregiver proved true. We communicated well, discussing not only our feelings for one another, but also our lives before meeting each other. Sharing experiences we had growing up we were compassionate about things each other had been through and experienced. We were compassionate and helpful when feeling sad, upset or angry. He shared with me how when he was young he was too much for his mom to handle. He had ADHD and would often act out. The result of this was spending a year in foster care in St. Anne’s. We drove to his old foster home, which he had not visited since he was there when he was eight. The foster parents …show more content…
These bumps would lead to the demise of a secure, loving, caring, and safe relationship. It would lead to lifelong implications for the two of us. Things began going wrong subtly bit-by-bit progressing to more severe issues, and even abuse. It began simply by allowing him to see me cry. To him something about me crying, and the way I looked intrigued him. He would tell me things that would cause emotional hurt like he did not love me, or that he was having second thoughts. He would say things like I was not what he expected, or what he wanted me to be. He said emotionally hurtful things, not because they were his true emotions, but only to. After watching me cry, and hearing me beg and plead for explanations, he would tell me the truth of his behaviors. He said he did them solely for my reaction, he liked to watch me cry and hugging me and kissing me after he told me it was not real. Explaining he just really wanted to see me cry because it was “cute” as a justification for his behavior. I do not know exactly why and how he could behave in this way, but I have spent lots of time analyzing possible answers to why. I believe this way of behaving was a pattern he had learn from experience through his attachment with his caregivers growing up. Maybe he faced insecure attachment where his caregivers rejected him constantly. Maybe the only times in which he received affection was …show more content…
The reasons in which I was crying went from his words, to his actions. It began in our last year of high school together. I found out he had people over drinking while I was hanging out to myown friends. From there one thing led to another and he did not have sexual intercourse but did have sexual activity with an older girl from our school. He apologized but attached it to being “pay-back” for an earlier indiscretion on my part. It was weeks into our relationship and I had got intoxicated to a point of blacking out. I was informed the next day I had kissed a friend of mine during the evening, someone he and I both knew. I immediately told him, and explained I understood if he wanted to end the relationship before it even started. I thought we had moved past that hiccup, but apparently, I was wrong. He used my behavior from two years prior to explain away why what he did occurred, and why he should be forgiven. Once again I can only analyze that this revisiting of my past discretion and the use of it as a justification for his behaviors is an implication of insecure attachment. Seeking revenge out of the notion that you hurt me, I need to hurt you so we can have a level playing ground before moving forward in trusting or showing each other love once again. From this moment on trust would slowly be lost, with repeated incidents similar to this, solely on his