Love According To Chapman

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” Pg. 100 I disagree with Chapman’s statement because I believe that people tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area that they work hard to show their love through and not where they have their deepest emotional need. It is not a sense of need, rather a sense of acknowledging their effort. One person can be showing acts of service but what they seek most are words of affection. In my personal experience, I have done a lot of small gift giving to my girlfriend, but I do not want gifts given back to me, I rather want words of affection, affirmation and acts of service. Another example would be when I do acts of service for my girlfriend, such as helping around the house by taking out the trash, or washing dishes after dinner. When there are no “Thank You” after the deed it tends to bother me. If they later come up in our conversation I sometimes criticize her in the matter, but I do not want her to do what I do, all I want are small words of affirmation and acknowledgement. …show more content…
In my personal experience I can say that I do not bash my girlfriend or bring to light the things that I do for emotional need in the subject, most of the time I just want her to be aware of what is going on in my thoughts. I also believe that criticism should be at a limit in a relationship or marriage because of the ineffectiveness of communicating love. One way I would change the sentence would be; “People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they show their deepest emotion without being