Abigail Smith
Dr. Cumings
Writing & Critical Inquiry
28 Sept 2017
Loneliness
I am uncomfortable when I cannot tell people how I feel. I never have been able to play the part of the girl who keeps her emotions bottled up without the side effects turning into a great weight. I always have felt the need to share my feelings, my world and my thoughts with somebody. Some forms of change require you to be completely independent from all that you know, and from this change, that severance can cause you to feel like there is no one there for you. Loneliness is a constant in life, but that does not mean the emotions associated are constant in every circumstance. You can feel lonely while waiting on someone to meet you for lunch- anxious for their …show more content…
My family and I were at the airport saying our last good-byes. I was leaving everyone and everything that I loved, understood, cared for, to come and study in a completely foreign place. I was leaving familiar territory and moving into an unknown, unfamiliar ground. I was fifteen at the time, and the idea of having to be truly independent from my parents or friends to lean on and share what I feel terrified me. I was terrified of being alone. I had to say goodbye to people who I had either grown up with or those who had seen me grow up- all my memories and emotions attached to them. They were the people who I thought really knew me and understood me. My family all had their own impressions of how I should feel. Joy, excitement, sadness, and fear being the most popular. However nobody really knew what I was feeling inside throughout it all. I felt all these emotions blended into a distinct emotion of my own. One that I could not even share with my best friend. When I expressed my fears and anxiety about leaving New York, no one seemed to really listen to what I was saying. They kept saying things would be fine, that it was just the jitters and I would be alright. But in my mind I felt isolated. I wanted them to sit and feel what I was at that very moment. But they wanted to pacify me, console me as though I were a …show more content…
It can be mild or stormy, but eventually it fades away, leaving you with a clearer sense of yourself and your circumstances than before. This bit of history in my life may seem insignificant, but the independent growth and self-reflection that came from it was a sizable at this age. I eventually found a few friends at this school over the course of my time there. Although I was no longer isolated and lonely, I still used my experience to change things about myself and how I think. Instead of being afraid and uncertain with myself when alone, I began to embrace the chance to be “there” for myself for once rather than depending on others as I had previously. I no longer felt the need to listen to other opinions of how I should handle or feel about issues that were burdening me. Being mentally mature and aware is a large part in growing up and being independent and self-reliant. Emotions, such as loneliness, come and go waves. Finding happiness, validation and the ability to handle personal feelings from inside rather than from external forces is something I will never forget to
Dr. Cumings
Writing & Critical Inquiry
28 Sept 2017
Loneliness
I am uncomfortable when I cannot tell people how I feel. I never have been able to play the part of the girl who keeps her emotions bottled up without the side effects turning into a great weight. I always have felt the need to share my feelings, my world and my thoughts with somebody. Some forms of change require you to be completely independent from all that you know, and from this change, that severance can cause you to feel like there is no one there for you. Loneliness is a constant in life, but that does not mean the emotions associated are constant in every circumstance. You can feel lonely while waiting on someone to meet you for lunch- anxious for their …show more content…
My family and I were at the airport saying our last good-byes. I was leaving everyone and everything that I loved, understood, cared for, to come and study in a completely foreign place. I was leaving familiar territory and moving into an unknown, unfamiliar ground. I was fifteen at the time, and the idea of having to be truly independent from my parents or friends to lean on and share what I feel terrified me. I was terrified of being alone. I had to say goodbye to people who I had either grown up with or those who had seen me grow up- all my memories and emotions attached to them. They were the people who I thought really knew me and understood me. My family all had their own impressions of how I should feel. Joy, excitement, sadness, and fear being the most popular. However nobody really knew what I was feeling inside throughout it all. I felt all these emotions blended into a distinct emotion of my own. One that I could not even share with my best friend. When I expressed my fears and anxiety about leaving New York, no one seemed to really listen to what I was saying. They kept saying things would be fine, that it was just the jitters and I would be alright. But in my mind I felt isolated. I wanted them to sit and feel what I was at that very moment. But they wanted to pacify me, console me as though I were a …show more content…
It can be mild or stormy, but eventually it fades away, leaving you with a clearer sense of yourself and your circumstances than before. This bit of history in my life may seem insignificant, but the independent growth and self-reflection that came from it was a sizable at this age. I eventually found a few friends at this school over the course of my time there. Although I was no longer isolated and lonely, I still used my experience to change things about myself and how I think. Instead of being afraid and uncertain with myself when alone, I began to embrace the chance to be “there” for myself for once rather than depending on others as I had previously. I no longer felt the need to listen to other opinions of how I should handle or feel about issues that were burdening me. Being mentally mature and aware is a large part in growing up and being independent and self-reliant. Emotions, such as loneliness, come and go waves. Finding happiness, validation and the ability to handle personal feelings from inside rather than from external forces is something I will never forget to