Living the Life of Queet
Growing up I was always that little girl who lived upon “what if”. What if nobody likes me? What if my mommy or daddy die? What if I fail my grade? What if momma beat me? What if I was diagnosed with cancer or heart failure? What if this and what if that. The odd thing is, I never wondered about positive stuff like, “what if I win something” or “what if I become the first African American female to accomplish something.” Believe it or not these negative thoughts prepared me for the person I have grew to be. The way I prepare myself for the worst builds me to be able to handle the obstacles thrown at me.five siblings. I thought of the most bad, least, unfavorable things which only pushed me to do and be a better individual. Yes there was times I wanted to give in and say “I am done trying” but the fact that I know God would not take me far just to leave me, is why I have not gave up on something. …show more content…
So everytime I mess up, or make a mistake I would talk down on myself about it. It wasn’t long until I realized the people who make mistakes and are able to admit to them are more bound to being “perfect” than a person who hides their mistakes while putting on a flex for other people. I look at myself as being the sunflower in a garden full of tulips. The one standing out being different to the people I grew up around. But being that only sunflower was not good to me, not at all. I wanted to change into the tulip everybody else was. This is where i screwed up at. Changing myself to make others accept the person I am should have never been a option. It does not work. I was too busy trying to adapt to being a different individual, I forgot my self standards and morals. I began treating people differently. I began to be a bully, not physically but orally. I was a person who will find something bad out of everything. No matter what it was I found something bad to turn everything
Growing up I was always that little girl who lived upon “what if”. What if nobody likes me? What if my mommy or daddy die? What if I fail my grade? What if momma beat me? What if I was diagnosed with cancer or heart failure? What if this and what if that. The odd thing is, I never wondered about positive stuff like, “what if I win something” or “what if I become the first African American female to accomplish something.” Believe it or not these negative thoughts prepared me for the person I have grew to be. The way I prepare myself for the worst builds me to be able to handle the obstacles thrown at me.five siblings. I thought of the most bad, least, unfavorable things which only pushed me to do and be a better individual. Yes there was times I wanted to give in and say “I am done trying” but the fact that I know God would not take me far just to leave me, is why I have not gave up on something. …show more content…
So everytime I mess up, or make a mistake I would talk down on myself about it. It wasn’t long until I realized the people who make mistakes and are able to admit to them are more bound to being “perfect” than a person who hides their mistakes while putting on a flex for other people. I look at myself as being the sunflower in a garden full of tulips. The one standing out being different to the people I grew up around. But being that only sunflower was not good to me, not at all. I wanted to change into the tulip everybody else was. This is where i screwed up at. Changing myself to make others accept the person I am should have never been a option. It does not work. I was too busy trying to adapt to being a different individual, I forgot my self standards and morals. I began treating people differently. I began to be a bully, not physically but orally. I was a person who will find something bad out of everything. No matter what it was I found something bad to turn everything