Knapp's Relational Development Theory

Good Essays
C.J. Shelton
COMM 1300/ (MWF 10 a.m.)
Teri Colaianni
Introduction:
Miscommunication is one of the leading factors to why relationships are not as healthy as it could be. The truth is we often miscommunicate with each other quite more frequently than we notice. I myself have experienced many unhealthy relationships with friends, family, significant others, co-workers, and etc. I want to focus on my last relationship although, and that was with a significant other. By using the Knapp’s stages of relational development theory, I can begin to analyze how communication lead to an automatic downfall for my significant other and I. Throughout this paper I will analysis the relationship problems, recommend how to fix the problems with Knapp’s stages
…show more content…
Coming together is communication that brings the relationship together, and coming apart is communication that divides the relationship apart. Coming together language is, initiating making first contact with someone, experimenting getting to know someone, intensifying talking more deeply, integrating romantic bond, and bonding form of commitment. Coming apart language is, differentiating thinking individually, circumscribing lack of communicating, stagnating things remain the same, avoiding not wanting to see each other, and terminating is to end …show more content…
Arguments occur in almost all relationships and my relationship was not immune to the problem. Whenever we had a argument I would try to disconnect myself from the situation, because it made myself feel better. Little did I know I was differentiating, thinking individually about the relationship. This started to slowly divide the relationship and I didn’t even notice it at the time. As, the relationship continued, I started to notice Halie would communicate with me less in other words circumscribe. I would ask what's wrong with her, and she would say nothing I’ll try to do better, but things remained exactly the same very stagnant. Every time we would try to make plans with each other, we just couldn’t make time to hangout. Both of us was avoiding each other like we just didn’t want to see each other anymore. I started to see how the relationship was getting very unhealthy, and I made the decision to terminate the relationship.
Recommendation:
After taking some time off, and really thinking about what made the relationship unhealthy. I noticed that the relationship started going south when I decided to disconnect myself from the argument. I should have just approached the conflict differently than I did. What I did really upsetted Halie, and I feel like she thought I didn’t care about her as much as I said I did. My communication with Halie was bring us apart. Since my past relationship, I made it my goal to

Related Documents

  • Decent Essays

    Now, I don’t like this person, who got in the way and started blocking me. What I have to deal with now is betrayal. This person kept me from doing what I wanted to do, they hurt me. Now I begin to wonder, why do people betray one another. Why did this person betray me.…

    • 1088 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    I went through this with my last girlfriend when I didn’t want to bring up that we were not spending time together after we became a couple, because of fear of starting something that wasn’t there. Stagnation is the third stage in coming apart in this stage the relationship just continues to get worse and couples just stay because of obligations that need both of them to be there. this stage was the toughest for me and my ex-girlfriend because we wanted to end the relationship but didn’t want to due it right away because we were best friends before and cared about our feelings but the relationship kept getting worse. The fourth stage is Avoidance in this stage couple…

    • 1722 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    I felt as if I was a bad person because I was so unhappy being with this person, I decided I wanted to make a change and get that person out of my life. That backfired on me though, making me feel terrible because my decision was so selfish it made another person want to end their life. I couldn’t live with the thought that I had made another person feel so low of themselves, so I soon then tried to end my life for the first time in my life and my attempt to suicide…

    • 1191 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    She made me feel more alone by trying to fix me; she did this by giving me advice on what I am doing wrong in my personal life, which was almost everything. She made it seem like there's something wrong with me and kept trying to psychoanalyze me. She came up with many conclusions to try to figure out what was wrong with me. She made me feel like there was something wrong with me and that everything is my fault. The C position with her boyfriend made the conflict worse because it turned into a Villain-Victim-Rescuer situation.…

    • 1592 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    it seemed like the only way people could communicate with each other was by talking about other people. gossip how i hated it, It never made any sense to me why someone could bathe in the misery of another person. it came to a point where i would begin to distant myself from people to avoid the unfriendly noises. i figured being myself would have to ill effect on any person. at least the seem to work for one side of the coin, as much as i like to think i didn 't it really started to daunt on me what others thought about me.…

    • 1734 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    Throughout the conversation my partner was getting annoyed of me when I did not want to lay or sit next to him. He kept asking me to lay in his arms and I kept refusing while moving farther away. The conversations went on and off as he kept wondering why I would not get closer to him. I had a feeling that he may have thought I was going to end our relationship because of how distant I was from him which made it seem like something was going to happen. The conversation about our future felt like there was not going to be a future together because of the lack of touch and intimacy.…

    • 728 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    Happy Love Essay

    • 1284 Words
    • 6 Pages

    It will work for a short time but then it just goes back to what it was before, and it gets annoying,” I said. “Trust me, what is annoying is seeing you upset all the time because of her and you not doing anything about it,” Alex said. “It’s also frustrating when I try to help you and you ignore the help I give you. But that’s okay if you want to keep being unhappy all the time, that’s your…

    • 1284 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    I knew that I needed to relax and be able to explain my feelings rather than just jump to conclusion. Sadly, I caught depression from doing just this when we fought. I didn’t know how to fix it so I figure it was over and I was going to be loosing the most important thing in my life. I was lost because I couldn’t control how I was feeling, and I couldn’t go tell the one person I wanted to, because it would lead to a…

    • 1044 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    I was lost on why I could not get anyone to love me and why my life had been spiraling down ever since I lost my best friend. I believed that there was something truly wrong with me. I never thought that perhaps I was the one who needed to change her personality and her mindset in order to keep a steady healthy relationship. I loathed any time I had to spend alone, so I would either spend time with the wrong people or I 'd waste my time alone. I typically spent time with the people who did not make an effort to benefit me as an individual, and honestly these friends could care less whether I was around them or not.…

    • 1506 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Decent Essays
  • Decent Essays

    Analysis Of Philophobia

    • 740 Words
    • 3 Pages

    Over time I decided to give it a try, but he was no longer the same person. Due to his past relationships his outlook on everyone was completely different. He was no longer into the affection, he expected me to hurt him like everyone else, and the biggest problems of all, he wouldn’t commit. I didn’t really think too much of it because he always told me that it was nothing serious. I just strongly disliked that he felt the need to lie about any and…

    • 740 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Decent Essays