Just Be Yourself
Mark Twain once said that “comparison is the death of joy.” If only I had known this four years ago. For me, it was more than just the death of joy, it was the death of my soul. Every person I saw, I compared myself to them and more times than not, I thought they were better or more talented than me. I think the most damaging comparison of all is comparing yourself with your older siblings. All throughout high school, I constantly compared myself to my older brother and sister. Every time I came up short. It did not matter if it was sports, academics, or making friends, I felt I was never as good as they were. I was constantly in their shadow. This was especially true with my brother Josh, who was 2 years older than me. It …show more content…
At least until, AP Economics. Walking into the room, I chose a seat in the first column middle row. I was optimistic that even though, Mrs. Lyell knew Josh, she wouldn’t compare us since she knew me too. As she started talking I zoned out considering I knew her personally. I didn’t need to listen to this part of her welcoming routine because it was the get to know your teacher part. I awaken from my own little world at the mention of Josh’s name. I rolled my eyes at the thought that soon enough a story about him would come. And it did. Mrs. Lyell began her story with a smile as wide as the sky on her face. “I remember one time when Josh, Madison’s brother, was walking around stretching his legs to help him refocus, when he ended up front for a while. I turned around and asked him, jokingly, if he would like to teach the class. In which he responded with a “sure!” Then he started trying to teach, it was so funny.” Looking around I saw everyone laughing and then looking back at me pressuring me to laugh and make a comment. “Yeah that is something Josh would do,” I said while faking a laugh at the end to not only convince the class, but myself as well that I’m okay. After those words left my mouth I felt a sense of emptiness, like saying those words took everything out of me. I know Mrs. Lyell did not mean to make me feel this empty. She didn’t know the …show more content…
Yes, there were still times that I compared myself to Josh out of habit, but teachers rarely did. The generation who knew him had graduated. Looking back, with every year that passed I got a piece of myself through Unified, an organization that allows kids with disabilities a chance to be a part of a high school team with student partners. I built myself through it. At the time I did not realize the effect Unified had on me since I was so focused on being someone else rather than just me. Unified allowed me to thrive and show the teachers and students who I was. Madison, not Josh’s sister, but me. I was able to shine through my caring nature and love for those that may be a little different than what is considered normal. Each year I found a piece of myself and who I wanted to be in the future. There was no longer a competition between my older brother and I because I became content with who I was. I was caring, passionate, loving and so much more. All I needed was a little push to show myself, and the school, who I
Mark Twain once said that “comparison is the death of joy.” If only I had known this four years ago. For me, it was more than just the death of joy, it was the death of my soul. Every person I saw, I compared myself to them and more times than not, I thought they were better or more talented than me. I think the most damaging comparison of all is comparing yourself with your older siblings. All throughout high school, I constantly compared myself to my older brother and sister. Every time I came up short. It did not matter if it was sports, academics, or making friends, I felt I was never as good as they were. I was constantly in their shadow. This was especially true with my brother Josh, who was 2 years older than me. It …show more content…
At least until, AP Economics. Walking into the room, I chose a seat in the first column middle row. I was optimistic that even though, Mrs. Lyell knew Josh, she wouldn’t compare us since she knew me too. As she started talking I zoned out considering I knew her personally. I didn’t need to listen to this part of her welcoming routine because it was the get to know your teacher part. I awaken from my own little world at the mention of Josh’s name. I rolled my eyes at the thought that soon enough a story about him would come. And it did. Mrs. Lyell began her story with a smile as wide as the sky on her face. “I remember one time when Josh, Madison’s brother, was walking around stretching his legs to help him refocus, when he ended up front for a while. I turned around and asked him, jokingly, if he would like to teach the class. In which he responded with a “sure!” Then he started trying to teach, it was so funny.” Looking around I saw everyone laughing and then looking back at me pressuring me to laugh and make a comment. “Yeah that is something Josh would do,” I said while faking a laugh at the end to not only convince the class, but myself as well that I’m okay. After those words left my mouth I felt a sense of emptiness, like saying those words took everything out of me. I know Mrs. Lyell did not mean to make me feel this empty. She didn’t know the …show more content…
Yes, there were still times that I compared myself to Josh out of habit, but teachers rarely did. The generation who knew him had graduated. Looking back, with every year that passed I got a piece of myself through Unified, an organization that allows kids with disabilities a chance to be a part of a high school team with student partners. I built myself through it. At the time I did not realize the effect Unified had on me since I was so focused on being someone else rather than just me. Unified allowed me to thrive and show the teachers and students who I was. Madison, not Josh’s sister, but me. I was able to shine through my caring nature and love for those that may be a little different than what is considered normal. Each year I found a piece of myself and who I wanted to be in the future. There was no longer a competition between my older brother and I because I became content with who I was. I was caring, passionate, loving and so much more. All I needed was a little push to show myself, and the school, who I