My new roommate Joey, has ruined my dating life. Joey's not a rude guy, or anything, he's actually friendly and good-natured. Women are driven from my life by his lack of house cleaning. Our apartment is the social equivalent of a cancerous tumor. When one of my dates enters the building, the first object that she notices is a trashcan that is moldered in by someone's half-eaten apple. The edge of the television is drooped over by a slice of week-old pizza. A swarm of flies buzzed angrily at her, before they settled back down on a pile of unwashed socks. Perhaps those socks gleamed white a long time ago, once fresh from K-Mart. Visitors are nauseated by the smell; the coup de grace is administered by that part. When a woman enters the apartment,
