The summer of 1955 is an unordinary summer for Jack Wolff. Trapped in the transitioning body of an eleven-year-old boy, Jack is drowning in the emotional trauma of a violent home life, illegal activities, and a lack of emotional support known as his childhood. This is a major period of change for any young boy, and dealing with the extensive distress does not allow him to mature in the conventional manner. Due to his abnormal progression, a common theme arises within the first part Jack’s life: a lack of identity and a lack self-worth fuels the constant need for power. Countless occasions throughout the beginning of the memoir portray scenarios where Jack is struggling to feel secure about his identity. In fact, Jack’s family life is shattered.
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The weapon embodies freedom and fulfillment to Jack, and it was, “. . . the first condition of self-sufficiency . . .” (Wolff 23). He connects his lack of identity with his struggle for authority as he announces, “All my images of myself as I wished to be were images of myself armed. Because I did not know who I was, any image of myself, no matter how grotesque, had power over me” (Wolff 27). The rifle became his identity, representing command. Upon the decision to move once again, Jack’s mother refuses his requests to bring his rifle. This battle of control allows the reader to understand that if he were to leave the gun behind, he would be leaving a piece of himself behind. Eventually, his mother gives in and allows him to bring the gun, which is an integral part of the influence Jack believes he has. A specific instance where the rifle allows Jack to feel authority is while he is standing in the apartment window, gun in hand. He can feel the power he possesses over the citizens below him, chewing his lip to keep from chuckling at the idea that those people assumed they were safe. The innocence of the people on the street began to aggravate him because, “Power can be enjoyed only when it is recognized and feared. Fearlessness in those without power is maddening to those who have it” (Wolff 25). He longs for someone to
The weapon embodies freedom and fulfillment to Jack, and it was, “. . . the first condition of self-sufficiency . . .” (Wolff 23). He connects his lack of identity with his struggle for authority as he announces, “All my images of myself as I wished to be were images of myself armed. Because I did not know who I was, any image of myself, no matter how grotesque, had power over me” (Wolff 27). The rifle became his identity, representing command. Upon the decision to move once again, Jack’s mother refuses his requests to bring his rifle. This battle of control allows the reader to understand that if he were to leave the gun behind, he would be leaving a piece of himself behind. Eventually, his mother gives in and allows him to bring the gun, which is an integral part of the influence Jack believes he has. A specific instance where the rifle allows Jack to feel authority is while he is standing in the apartment window, gun in hand. He can feel the power he possesses over the citizens below him, chewing his lip to keep from chuckling at the idea that those people assumed they were safe. The innocence of the people on the street began to aggravate him because, “Power can be enjoyed only when it is recognized and feared. Fearlessness in those without power is maddening to those who have it” (Wolff 25). He longs for someone to