Essay on Is Trust A Major Obstacle For Me?

1061 Words Feb 3rd, 2016 null Page
Trust has always been a major obstacle for me. Although I enjoy the company of others, I am never comfortable in trusting their motives. As far as depending on someone else to meet my needs that is difficult as well. I prefer to take care of myself in my own way never fully trusting someone to be there long-term. This type of isolation is not always satisfying but throughout my history trusting and closeness has proven to be unfruitful. As far as love partners are concerned, there have been many eligible suitors that I have shunned for fear of closeness and feelings of inadequacy. The ones that I do become involved with have avoidance issues or vices that make long-term commitments nearly impossible. Therefore, with the brief description given, the avoidant attachment style is best suited to my romantic relationships. In the past, I have had very few close friendships because of my avoidant style. The friendships that I did have were with women (girls) who exhibited unrestricted sociosexual orientation, and those relationships ended with the severity of accidental death or unfaithfulness. Some of these “friendships” seemed, at times, to be more of a cesspool of competitiveness and envy. I found no enjoyment in feeling that way but certain “friends” seemed to draw out those negative emotions. My focus seemed to be on comparing myself to every female with whom I had contact. To this day, I cannot say exactly if it was jealousy within them, something within myself or…

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