Overcoming My Failure

College is an obstacle to overcome, due to the fact that is hard enough to get into a ‘good’ school and even harder to stay in it. Therefore, due to a nearly cosmic fate other hurdles will need to be cleared before a student graduates with an undergraduate degree; and for some students that isn’t even the half of it when thinking about graduate school. This situation is achieved after dealing with monetary worries, grades, and trying to keep a perfect balance of friends, family, and crying in a nice and neat schedule. Overall the truest ‘monkey wrench’ that is thrown into being the perfect college student, is when you fail at that already flawed system.
The first two years of college is one of the hardest for most all students, which is why …show more content…
At some point it did after another failed fall semester in my second year and some coaxing into gathering more motivation, is how I am now in the third year. What had helped me the most in getting over myself first was mainly due to: the It Gets Better Program videos, meditation, yoga, and some therapy with SSRI’s to combat depression and anxiety. I had to teach myself that not only are my shortcoming from my first year in college not a reflection of my character, and that I had finished with my best work in those classes and that is what I should be proud of and not ashamed, even if a ‘B+’ is not good enough. In addition, not only was I caught up in a vicious cycle of self-pity over my own pride, but I also realized that I am setting myself up to fail when I set standards for myself that no other person could ever achieve, alone. I felt that if I didn’t go to medical school that I was a failure, and I couldn’t do anything else with my life. As a result, with the help of a guidance counselor I changed my major to Psychology and Anthropology. This lead to the realization that no-one should expect any one person to excel at everything, and that just because physics, chemistry, and advance mathematics are not the strongest aspects of a learning curve does not mean there are no other options available. Above all, the most important lesson I have …show more content…
This is due to the fact that I held a grudge against my father for being a selfish addict that put us into a financial bind. I held onto that grudge for two years, and have finally learned that what is in the past cannot be changed, but the future is still a viable option to be considered. As a result, I reached out to him and have started a better relationship as he journeys to being ten months sober and continuing treatment for Bi-polar Disorder. As a result, I have applied what I have learned from that experience to myself. I forgave myself for having a bad first three semesters of school, and stopped making excuses for why it happened. The grades and efforts that I made in those classes were only due to the fact that I had stretched myself too thin between work, school, and my personal life. It was not due to the teachers, amount of work assigned, or the school itself; which is a hard thing to realize. This is due to the fact that most people want to keep a positive self-image of themselves, and when one failed they resort to the easiest scapegoat. Which is everything else, other than their own shortcomings. As a result, instead of resorting to self-pity and feeding into the anxiety and depression I decided to make the next semester better than the last and let the past stay in the past. It seems that most of a personal history is