Infertile Monologue

6 months ago.
"Love. Crazy how something so simple, and accessible for them is something I long for the most. You see, when you're born into 76 you don't get love. You don't get the feeling of looking at someone and feeling a rush of butterflies (or at least that's how the books describe it). Here. Here we get partners. I've had mine for about a month now and still have yet to get pregnant. The only thing that keeps me from being marked as infertile is the authority of the father. He's fifth to the president, which means he's pretty powerful. Anyways back to me being infertile. Infertile = the lowest class of humans. Those who cannot provide a child for their husband, also fail to grow our people and therefore are purposeless to our community. Most infertiles live on the side of the street, and beg for food, while the rest of them simply die off or are executed. But that's not what I'm scared of. I'm scared that I have made a terrible mistake. I've married a boy who I do not love. He is one of the most courageous, handsome, and kind boys in our community, yet I feel nothing for him. When I look at him I feel as if I'm looking at a wall. I hate it. Most people don't mind having their partner chosen, in fact I don't think most of them know what love is and the few that do have given up all hopes …show more content…
And yesterday was just like tomorrow. And tomorrow was just like today. The same fights. The same tears. The same exhaustion. I am tired. Correction: I am so tired. I've been married for almost 7 months. 7 months of marriage to a boy who I could never love. And when I say that, don't believe that I haven't tried to love him. Don't think for one second I didn't try to have him touch me and get shivers. Or look into his eyes and feel as if nothing else matters. Because I did. I tried so hard to love the man I married. But here I am, hiding from him, wondering how much further I have to fall before someone finally picks me