The optional RA submission was my opportunity to cut down the redundant parts of the essay which made it wordy and burdensome. After receiving good comments from Syrus and you on the RA final draft, I wasn’t sure if I wished to submit my RA essay again. However, when I read my essay after submission, I felt that my most important message was not being effectively communicated as I was trying to prove several claims at once. I was able to resolve this problem, by one of your advice during the office hours where you suggested that I should try to limit myself. Even though I knew what I am supposed to do to improve my essay but I wasn’t sure how I could achieve that. This is where your suggestion to turn over to Michelle Massé’s essay proved beneficial.
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Initially, I put the argument in a single paragraph to bring the readers attention to that particular paragraph. However, that technique wasn’t effective as your comments mentioned that I should change the position of my thesis. This was harder than the other edits. First, I started by trimming the summary in the first paragraph because I didn’t want my argument to drown in the sea of words. Second, I broke my thesis in multiple lines and erased the redundant parts. I placed the first and most important part of the argument right after the summary in the first paragraph. This didn’t disrupt the flow of the essay as it smoothly transitioned from the summary to the genre argument. Lastly, for the second part of the thesis, I changed it into Michelle Massé words and used it as an indicator to her essay. As a result, I was able to achieve a less wordy but more integrated thesis. There were several other minor edits to ensure that the message is effectively communicated. Limiting myself from RA essay was crucial in setting boundaries for the RIP project. Even though I had a solid draft from my last submission, an essay is always “work in progress”. The revised essay is better regarding its impact due to the thesis, organization and primary focus. Also, by pointing Michelle Massé essay, I learned a valuable lesson to trust my readers to be at the same pace as me while writing an academic essay. This is crucial as I learned an effective way to avoid proving other author’s
Initially, I put the argument in a single paragraph to bring the readers attention to that particular paragraph. However, that technique wasn’t effective as your comments mentioned that I should change the position of my thesis. This was harder than the other edits. First, I started by trimming the summary in the first paragraph because I didn’t want my argument to drown in the sea of words. Second, I broke my thesis in multiple lines and erased the redundant parts. I placed the first and most important part of the argument right after the summary in the first paragraph. This didn’t disrupt the flow of the essay as it smoothly transitioned from the summary to the genre argument. Lastly, for the second part of the thesis, I changed it into Michelle Massé words and used it as an indicator to her essay. As a result, I was able to achieve a less wordy but more integrated thesis. There were several other minor edits to ensure that the message is effectively communicated. Limiting myself from RA essay was crucial in setting boundaries for the RIP project. Even though I had a solid draft from my last submission, an essay is always “work in progress”. The revised essay is better regarding its impact due to the thesis, organization and primary focus. Also, by pointing Michelle Massé essay, I learned a valuable lesson to trust my readers to be at the same pace as me while writing an academic essay. This is crucial as I learned an effective way to avoid proving other author’s