NORTON IV EMPEROR OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA presents as an original, intriguing script that offers an ensemble cast of colorful and offbeat characters. The script’s “voice” is very refreshing as it combines dark comedy with drama and a crime mystery.
There’s a lot to really like about this script, most of the all the characters. However, with that said the overall script would benefit from further development, especially in the area of clarification.
First, it’s not well understood who’s supposed to be the protagonist driving the story. One believes it’s Sheriff Walker, but it’s not entirely clear because the story seems to be driven more by Norton and sometimes the plot feels like it could be Olivia’s story because she has a goal …show more content…
As mentioned, clearly establish Walker as the protagonist with a goal and stakes. However, show Walker finding the human foot versus the idea that he already has the foot. Make this discovery more of the inciting event and the catalyst for the plot. Right now, not enough information is provided about how he found or got the foot.
Also, consider moving up the introduction of Perry and make sure the audience realizes that she’s the daughter of Walker. Establish their home life.
Right now as structured, the inciting event is when Norton shows up in town. It’s a bit awkward that he immediately jumps to the idea of making a film and Olivia just happens to be developing a film festival. It feels a little too convenient. Try to find a smoother way to develop this. Maybe Norton sees the flyer for the film festival. Make it clear how this film festival can save the town.
Clarify why so many of the people in the town champion Norton. Elevate his charming ways. Show him helping people and therefore, they support him. The only one who doesn’t is …show more content…
They don’t add much to the script, even though the imposter director seems to pay homage to the film ARGO. The flashback involving Olivia isn’t needed.
Clarify how Jack died and who killed him. If it’s Garrick, the motivation isn’t clear (did Jack find the gold?) It’s not clear if the plane crash caused the severing of Philbert’s head or not.
Clarify why the foot was cauterized (did Garrick do this after he lost his foot). It’s not clear why Norton left the gold, and as mentioned, one isn’t even sure if he was on the plane when it crashed. One assumes Garrick was after the gold when he searches Norton’s room.
Clarify why the fingerprints cam up as belonging to a dead man. The reveal that Norton was only involved because he agreed to watch the plane doesn’t make for a satisfying payoff. Consider another twist. Maybe Walker clears Norton’s name, but then show how Norton sabotaged the plane, torn up the parachute, and hid the gold as a final twist scene. The ending right now is a bit blunt and not fully satisfying.
The overall tension can be stronger if the plot is clearer and if there’s a stronger third act for the hero. With that said, the audience is drawn into the mystery about Norton and anticipates the payoff, but as mentioned, the payoff and irony of his name, doesn’t feel
There’s a lot to really like about this script, most of the all the characters. However, with that said the overall script would benefit from further development, especially in the area of clarification.
First, it’s not well understood who’s supposed to be the protagonist driving the story. One believes it’s Sheriff Walker, but it’s not entirely clear because the story seems to be driven more by Norton and sometimes the plot feels like it could be Olivia’s story because she has a goal …show more content…
As mentioned, clearly establish Walker as the protagonist with a goal and stakes. However, show Walker finding the human foot versus the idea that he already has the foot. Make this discovery more of the inciting event and the catalyst for the plot. Right now, not enough information is provided about how he found or got the foot.
Also, consider moving up the introduction of Perry and make sure the audience realizes that she’s the daughter of Walker. Establish their home life.
Right now as structured, the inciting event is when Norton shows up in town. It’s a bit awkward that he immediately jumps to the idea of making a film and Olivia just happens to be developing a film festival. It feels a little too convenient. Try to find a smoother way to develop this. Maybe Norton sees the flyer for the film festival. Make it clear how this film festival can save the town.
Clarify why so many of the people in the town champion Norton. Elevate his charming ways. Show him helping people and therefore, they support him. The only one who doesn’t is …show more content…
They don’t add much to the script, even though the imposter director seems to pay homage to the film ARGO. The flashback involving Olivia isn’t needed.
Clarify how Jack died and who killed him. If it’s Garrick, the motivation isn’t clear (did Jack find the gold?) It’s not clear if the plane crash caused the severing of Philbert’s head or not.
Clarify why the foot was cauterized (did Garrick do this after he lost his foot). It’s not clear why Norton left the gold, and as mentioned, one isn’t even sure if he was on the plane when it crashed. One assumes Garrick was after the gold when he searches Norton’s room.
Clarify why the fingerprints cam up as belonging to a dead man. The reveal that Norton was only involved because he agreed to watch the plane doesn’t make for a satisfying payoff. Consider another twist. Maybe Walker clears Norton’s name, but then show how Norton sabotaged the plane, torn up the parachute, and hid the gold as a final twist scene. The ending right now is a bit blunt and not fully satisfying.
The overall tension can be stronger if the plot is clearer and if there’s a stronger third act for the hero. With that said, the audience is drawn into the mystery about Norton and anticipates the payoff, but as mentioned, the payoff and irony of his name, doesn’t feel