Essays are always time consuming, but when one has a final product, they always have that sense of accomplishment. The essay may not be perfect the first time around, but with some revision all of the mistakes can be corrected. I have improved my essay writing throughout EN100 with my writing strategies, my ability to revise, and my overall composition of the paper. When I write essays, I make sure I am familiar with my topic. By knowing the topic, I am able to explain and go further into detail. In my essay “The African American Dystopia,” I watched an episode of Atlanta, and took detailed notes that assisted me in my writing. By watching the content of the episode, I was able to gain a deeper understanding of the show through its characters.
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When I revised it, I altered the title to “The African American Dystopia Within America.” Using my graded TV analysis essay, I made all of the corrections that Dr. Haynes wrote on my paper. I started to read over my essay, until I no longer saw any grammatical or verb tense errors, as that is one of my weak points in writing. Seeing the flaws in my writing helps me, especially when I correct them, because I am less likely to make the mistake again. One of the bigger changes I made to my revision essay was my thesis. I altered it to make it parallel with my main topic sentences. The final thesis I created was “To avert poverty, many African American men have to go through struggles to find well paid employment, they may experience racial discrimination, or they may be a part of a crime or involved in violence in order to provide for themselves and their families,” (“American Dystopia Within,” 1). This newly constructed thesis seamed to flow smoother with my topic sentences. It covered the struggle of employment, the racial discrimination, and the small amount of crime that happened in the episode in an orderly fashion. Within this essay, I feel like I learned how to spread out my ideas into more words while being more descriptive. This was with the help of using more adjectives when describing things, such as “new, aspiring artist,” (American Dystopia Within,” 1). I usually would not use the back to back adjectives, but it seemed fitting in this paper, and it also added more words to my overall paper. Plus, in this context, the reader gains the understanding that Paper Boi is a new rapper, but is trying to gain a larger reputation when it comes to the musical industry. This paper helped me improve my overall writing, in ways that can be difficult to express, but is noticeable in the format and style I write
When I revised it, I altered the title to “The African American Dystopia Within America.” Using my graded TV analysis essay, I made all of the corrections that Dr. Haynes wrote on my paper. I started to read over my essay, until I no longer saw any grammatical or verb tense errors, as that is one of my weak points in writing. Seeing the flaws in my writing helps me, especially when I correct them, because I am less likely to make the mistake again. One of the bigger changes I made to my revision essay was my thesis. I altered it to make it parallel with my main topic sentences. The final thesis I created was “To avert poverty, many African American men have to go through struggles to find well paid employment, they may experience racial discrimination, or they may be a part of a crime or involved in violence in order to provide for themselves and their families,” (“American Dystopia Within,” 1). This newly constructed thesis seamed to flow smoother with my topic sentences. It covered the struggle of employment, the racial discrimination, and the small amount of crime that happened in the episode in an orderly fashion. Within this essay, I feel like I learned how to spread out my ideas into more words while being more descriptive. This was with the help of using more adjectives when describing things, such as “new, aspiring artist,” (American Dystopia Within,” 1). I usually would not use the back to back adjectives, but it seemed fitting in this paper, and it also added more words to my overall paper. Plus, in this context, the reader gains the understanding that Paper Boi is a new rapper, but is trying to gain a larger reputation when it comes to the musical industry. This paper helped me improve my overall writing, in ways that can be difficult to express, but is noticeable in the format and style I write