I Pursue My Typology

I keep saying sorry to the wrong person. The person who deserves my apology the most is you. I made you lose trust in me, and the way you raised me. I completely lied to everyone and made a scene. Maybe it is true, I love attention but I got the wrong attention from the right people. I want positive attention from my peers, but more than that, I want you to notice me. I got positive attention from my friends and that was awesome, but once the punishment set in the, high and mighty feeling went away. Grounding seems like the most reasonable, easy punishment but it doesn’t work anymore. It’s affecting not only me personally but my friends. I have to constantly say no and turn down offers to spend time with people I care about. It makes me …show more content…
I was thinking of myself, and only myself. I was caught up in how it would make me more accepted socially, which I came to learn from people who I don’t need in my life anyway. The idea was never meant to hurt anymore, it was just for a good time, with good friends. Things got out of hand, instead of being the responsible young adult that I am, I didn’t ask for help. I knew I was going to get in trouble either way. I picked the path I thought would be easier to go down, I couldn’t have been more wrong. As a teenager we make mistakes, sometimes we are influenced by others, i.e.; friends, social media, peers, etc. I can’t put a solid finger on what made my decision other than myself. I could blame my peers for telling me to do it, I would be a legend, or my friends for helping me clean before and after. I could even say social media made it look like fun and not that difficult of a job to achieve. This might all be true, but I hosted the party, I invited the people, I made the …show more content…
Sometimes I might seem like a hopeless cause, but I need a friend, someone I tell my plans too. Someone who will tell me ahead of time that what I’m getting into is wrong. It may not always work, but that's what else you are there for helping me fix my wrongs. I'm not saying this is all your fault. I know what I was doing, but I decided to ignore my gut and go for it. I need a way to learn without desocializing from my friends. I need you to gain trust back in me, but the only way I can show you I’ve learned from my mistake is to send me out in the world so I can show you I won’t mess up again. It’s about freedom, I understand I don’t deserve all my freedom, but making all my decisions for me frustrates me.

The happiness I would free gaining my freedom back would be unbelievable. I promise not to disobey you like this ever again. I will think before I do things. I will try my hardest to be a better person, overall I have grown from this punishment, but staying in has already taken a toll on me. I need out of my room, I need out of my head and to enjoy life