In 2013 I decided I would be attending Hardin–Simmons University in the fall. This wasn’t an easy decision and it would have an obvious effect on the family system. Although my mom wasn 't thrilled with my decision, she helped me make the move. Once I was settled into my dorm at Hardin–Simmons, I was for the first time, independent. My family was over 1,000 miles away. This was intimidating, but I acclimated well. During this time, my relationship with my mom changed. Rather than talking with authority, my mom started talking to me as a friend. This was a step in the right direction. My friendship with my mom allowed me a healthy connection to my family, while the distance allowed me a stable, rather than emotional, foundation. In 2014 I
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My boyfriend, Gary Martinez, flew to Chicago to meet my family and help me move back down to Abilene. Once I was settled back in Texas, my family stopped having family dinners. At this point in my life, I felt like I had a better understanding of my family. I had created individual relationships with both my siblings and my parents. Conflict between two family members, which did not concern me, didn’t affect my relationships. I was able to maintain positive and supportive relationships without being overly involved in family dysfunction. This symbolized separate but healthy alliances between family members and …show more content…
Gary and I were now a unit, our own family. We were, like most newlyweds, enmeshed. Unfortunately for Gary and I, our first year of marriage has been difficult. Being opposites, we encountered many conflicts. Throughout this year, I have noticed that my relationship with my mom has again changed. At first, I would go to my mom for any questions that I had. This was only natural due to the nature of our relationship. However, I quickly learned that my husband comes first. This is one way my eyes have been opened to the fused relationship my mom and I have. My husband and my mom have a limited relationship. She sees Gary as the man who took me away from her. This frustration has inevitable placed strain on their relationship. Regarding life decisions, Gary and I work together. He is neither above me or below me. My role as a wife is fairly traditional. I cook, clean, do laundry, and manage the budget. My husband works full time and is an excellent
My boyfriend, Gary Martinez, flew to Chicago to meet my family and help me move back down to Abilene. Once I was settled back in Texas, my family stopped having family dinners. At this point in my life, I felt like I had a better understanding of my family. I had created individual relationships with both my siblings and my parents. Conflict between two family members, which did not concern me, didn’t affect my relationships. I was able to maintain positive and supportive relationships without being overly involved in family dysfunction. This symbolized separate but healthy alliances between family members and …show more content…
Gary and I were now a unit, our own family. We were, like most newlyweds, enmeshed. Unfortunately for Gary and I, our first year of marriage has been difficult. Being opposites, we encountered many conflicts. Throughout this year, I have noticed that my relationship with my mom has again changed. At first, I would go to my mom for any questions that I had. This was only natural due to the nature of our relationship. However, I quickly learned that my husband comes first. This is one way my eyes have been opened to the fused relationship my mom and I have. My husband and my mom have a limited relationship. She sees Gary as the man who took me away from her. This frustration has inevitable placed strain on their relationship. Regarding life decisions, Gary and I work together. He is neither above me or below me. My role as a wife is fairly traditional. I cook, clean, do laundry, and manage the budget. My husband works full time and is an excellent