The Work-Life Dichotomy In Lucy Campbell's The Pig Child

I am disorganized by nature. I have come to learn that the only way I can work efficiently is with rigid structure, but that rigid structure does not translate into the work itself. Crafting a well-organized text tends to be difficult for me and is one of the things I have struggled with most in English classes. Because I possessed this self-knowledge, I knew it was something to focus on, especially in final drafts. In the past, I was often told that my writing was convoluted, and while I usually did not see a problem with that, eventually it became clear that the word “convoluted” was not uttered in praise of my ability to craft extensive, rolling sentences overflowing with complex ideas, but rather a complaint of my inability to organize …show more content…
This effort is best shown in my first revised essay, a film criticism entitled “The Work-Life Dichotomy in Lucy Campbell’s The Pig Child.” The focus will be on the evolution of the organization of ideas in the fourth paragraph of the …show more content…
A lot of ideas are brought in to illustrate the main point — too many ideas, in fact. So many ideas that the main point becomes a little lost within the paragraph. Ideas about the displacement of objects and people are accompanied by artistic analyses of things such as color theory, rhythm, and composition according to mathematical rules. The intention was for all of those components to be evidence for the use of displacement in the film, but the problem was that displacement itself was evidence for how the film’s main character eschews societal expectations by merging the two halves of the so-called “work-life dichotomy.” On top of that, the paragraph involved analyses of specific scenes. The entire thing was chaotic, and, admittedly, my own embarrassment after reading it is what spurred me to trim off some ideas and put others in their own paragraphs. Aside from chaotic content, there is a lack of visual organization. Not only do the ideas drone on, but the text does as well, giving the eyes no rest. Once I realized how far I had to scroll to get from the top of the paragraph to the bottom, I decided the draft was in severe need of additional paragraph